A transformed life

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The soul is greater than anything you ever lost. – Anonymous

So, remember how that Mayan shaman told me it’s now time for me to teach about “death?” Well, that’s a daunting task to be given, and one I’ve been procrastinating about for awhile now, so I am humbly and carefully treading into this dark vale. Consider this an exploration and an offering….

What’s vaguely comforting to me is that I know this subject fairly well, having experienced many symbolic deaths of my own when I began to question my life and who I was. I won’t deny that there were many tears and lots of fear, and a sense of loss and confusion at times, but what I gained in comparison to what I lost is immeasurable. What I found was me and she was waiting for me all along….

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Bat spirit animal: symbolizes shamanistic death

In shamanic traditions, a shaman experiences many symbolic deaths before he or she passes the tests, some of which are death-defying, and attains spiritual awakening. In the shamanic world, these tests invite the initiate to question his or her sense of personal identity and old ways of life, and to create a new relationship to life from the void of darkness (often a symbolic grave).

In our more mundane world, we too must experience symbolic deaths in order to live fully into life itself and who we truly are. Fortunately, the tests we face usually don’t push us to the edge of death, but they do, just like the shaman initiate’s, threaten who we believe we are. They make us question our beliefs, fears, expectations, and identity.

When we hold on, out of the fear that letting go of these things (and letting them die) will somehow diminish us, we end up living unconsciously, going through the motions, and being in denial. When we hold on, we are acting from a place of fear and scarcity, and what we then experience and feel is a deep lack in our lives. It takes away our joy.

When we allow the beliefs that limit us, the fears that hold us back, the expectations that cause us to want to be someone we actually aren’t, the masks and the armor we put on to hide and protect ourselves, to die, we open ourselves to transformation. It is only then, when we have let go, that we can create and begin to live into new, life-affirming beliefs about ourselves and life itself.

img_3249We need to sit on the rim of darkness and fish for fallen light with patience. – Pablo Neruda

As we go through this vale of darkness, we feel sadness and even grief, and we may feel alone and empty, but what we don’t realize until we’re through it is that what emerges from this void is beautiful–it is powerfully grounded and filled with luminous light and deep wisdom.

What emerges is YOU, the real you, the one who left behind all the “baggage” you carried for so long. It feels good to let go of that which you no longer need. You are lighter. You feel joy again.

Sometimes you, don’t realize the weight of something you are carrying until you feel the weight of its release. – Unknown

 

Life is always asking us to grow and live into our future. If we resist and hold on, we are denying the symbolic deaths that will lead to our own transformation. And when we resist our destiny, we die to life itself. Just on the other side of darkness is the light, our light.

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