There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. –Leonard Cohen

If you haven’t read my first cacao blog–How cacao found me–yet, please do as it will provide you with background on my journey with cacao as my teacher and guide.

In today’s post, I thought I would share my first time with you, no, not that first time! My first time in cacao ceremony…. Just so you know, I was totally new to this when I started. My spiritual journey, up to that point, had involved lots of reading–Pema Chodrin, Eckhart Tolle, don Miguel Ruiz, all the usual suspects–and a little bit of meditation and even less yoga. Heck, for the longest time I hated doing savasana (corpse pose) during yoga. I could not for the life me be still! Being a lifelong runner since my 20’s and someone with an active body and mind, it was torturous for me. Today, it is my absolute favorite yoga pose.

Back to my first time with cacao. My ceremonial cacao materials had arrived from Scotland where my teacher is from–we live in an amazing world when a Scottish plant medicine teacher, who was called to cacao, can teach an online course about a plant that grows in the a tropical rain forest…. I opened the lovely box filled with a block of raw cacao from a shaman in Guatemala, some incense, a candle, and spices to add to my cacao elixir. She also sent an extensive PDF guide, which I consumed with delight, finding sustenance in the history, mythology and practical matters of preparing cacao.

I planned my first ceremony for when I would be at our cabin the redwoods, a perfect sanctuary for going deep and doing inner work. I drove up late on a Friday, exhausted from work, with a blinding headache, and decided to not hold personal ceremony that day and took a nap instead….

Our teacher had given us a gift when we first signed up for the course: our spirit animal, which she intuited from our energetic presence online and our Facebook picture. To be honest, I hadn’t given it much thought other than to research the qualities of my spirit animal, the white swan.

I fell into a deep sleep on the couch and woke a little later from a dream where I had huge wings, which were unfolding. It was a sign, a big one. I knew in that moment that I simply had to hold ceremony that evening.

I lovingly created my ceremonial space in the loft: a small altar with candles; sheepskin rug, pillows and a blanket; a journal and pen; and lots of water. I prepared the cacao elixir–raw cacao from Guatemala, warm water, some spices and raw honey– and retired to my cacao cocoon.

After saying an ancient Mayan prayer, to IxCacao (the Goddess of chocolate), I drank the cacao and lay back on the rug listening to a beautiful guided meditation as the cacao began its work. My teacher had also shared a profound and evocative sacred music playlist to accompany us for the rest of our two-hour long journey.

Well, sometimes to get to bliss, we need to let go of a few things first. In my first cacao ceremony, I cried like a baby almost the whole time! I had been holding on to so much emotionally for so many years, and cacao broke me wide open. As Leonard Cohen says so beautifully, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the the light gets in.” The light definitely got in that day.

It’s hard to describe what happened to me during that ceremony, some of which is so unbelievable, but I experienced something sacred, something that opened me wide to receive what I most needed. I had invited Spirit in, and I felt loved, at peace and at home for the first time in my life.

I so wish I had found cacao earlier. Believe me, I could have used Her guidance when I was in the corporate world. I so needed to be broken open then after years of protecting my heart from what that world was asking of me. I went from protecting to armoring my heart, erecting boundaries and walls, and finally, without even being aware, closing off my heart. It took a brutal 360 review from my direct reports (in sharp and ironic contrast, management loved me); two executive coaches (one at work and one at home in my husband); endless books on leadership and spirituality; and finally leaving the corporate world on my own terms before my heart opened again. If I had known about cacao then, and its catalytic power to open our hearts and access our inner wisdom and guidance, I would have been there in a heartbeat.

Often times, it’s only when we face a “dark night of the soul” that we, in despair, open our hearts; and yet, with the right catalyst we can not only open to that guidance to ease our suffering, we can deepen and accelerate our learning. It isn’t a requirement that we take the slow path to self realization….

We don’t open to that guidance because we’ve forgotten that we can. We’ve gotten so used to being self-reliant and self-sufficient, and dare I say, self-important, because we believe we can do it on our own, which is such a lonely road and one that may never reach its destination. Or we simply don’t believe it’s possible at all, which means living a life in quiet despair.

Not much of what we’ve been told or heard is true. What’s true is in our hearts. And cacao bursts our hearts wide open. And, as frightening as that may sound, because we are rather afraid of our feelings, aren’t we; it’s the path of the heart that will get us to where we actually want to be: at home, at peace, and deeply loved. That’s bliss.

Much love, light & cacao bliss to you all.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC.