energy

The Cacao Journals: Inhabiting the Space Within

~ Nicole Gnutzman

When you go on an inward journey with ceremonial cacao or psychotropic plant medicines, you may enter a state of being you’ve never or rarely experienced before. You may actually feel inhabited by unconditional love or bliss or expansiveness as it takes over your entire being. And you may find that you want to stay in that moment because it feels so amazing.

This exalted state of being is usually reached after whatever needs to be seen and felt, and released and even transmuted, makes more space within to fully receive that state of being. An emptying of the “old” before filling with the “new”.

Although there are certainly times, when the medicine seduces you, gets right to it and gives you the state of being you are seeking as an amuse bouche. Hey love, it says, here’s something really yummy, our “chef” made just for you….

I’ve seen clients get seduced by the medicine in this way and what happens next is ego inflation/grandiosity, expectation building and attachment to the journey experience if the client does not balance the experience with gratitude and humility for what has been received and continues to work with the medicine. The medicine’s intention is to bring you into greater and deeper understanding of your true self and your connection to source/spirit/universe.

Clients, who don’t do the integration work, either go on with their lives as is, wondering weeks or months later why nothing has changed and they are even more stuck; or think they need to come back to a journey again (and again) to re-experience the state of being as if it is eluding their grasp (it is).

In most cases, on their next journey, they are given an entirely different experience, which is often the flip dark side of the exalted state, and is a sign that the medicine is playing with them and their expectations. Amuse bouche, haha, now here’s something dark and stinky for you to digest. There is no light without the darkness and vice versa.

The medicine is wise beyond measure. Your mind or ego are no match for it. It will get you every time; that’s part of the message and lesson. Just when you think you’ve got it, it has you….

In either case, given freely or with deep release, the intention of the gift–the inhabited feeling–is that it be integrated and embodied in life, outside of the journey experience. So, how do you do that? With conscious intention.

You can call the feeling back into your awareness by imagining it (the mind is a powerful thing) or in silent meditation where you fill the space of stillness within you with the feeling, allowing you to re-experience and re-inhabit it.

For those of you who are “mind” people, use your powerful imagination! Envision it to feel it, just like a professional athlete imagines their successful race, so it’s imprinted in their body’s response.

Doing this consciously creates an inner knowing and trust that the state of being from your journey experience was real and is not elusive. Little by little as you revisit the space within, it stays, dislodging the old state of being and its associated patterns, beliefs and stuck energy.

As you inhabit this state of being consciously, it will become your new, healthy unconscious pattern. When you slip out of it, which does happen in this crazy human experience, you will know how to get back to it quickly. Now, this does not mean you will feel peace, bliss or joy all the time, but they become the foundation, the ground of your being, as you feel everything without succumbing to numbing or suppressing the energy. Allow the feelings to come and go as your inner state of being remains steady and steadfast.

That inner state of being will begin to reflect your outer and will also support you in navigating chaos or dissonance with more ease and grace and flow. Allow the amuse bouche to fill and nourish your inner space.

©Soulscape Coaching LLC

The Cacao Journals: Exploring “Too Muchness”

~ Nicole Gnutzman ~ 2 Comments

Hola! I am writing this from Todos Santos, Baja California Sur, Mexico. A magical place of supportive, nourishing energy mixed with the raw power of Mama Ocean and miles of gorgeous, white sandy beaches; vast desert with cacti and arroyos (natural gullies for rain overflow); underground aquifers and palm tree groves; and majestic mountains with the softest morning light. A beautiful balance and integration of feminine and masculine energies and power. One that is inspiring and unleashing my creativity. Hence the forthcoming blog posts after a very long hiatus!

Recently, my female clients have brought two themes into my awareness: one is the concept of “too muchness” and the other is feminine embodiment. Both are hot and sometimes confronting topics…so I thought I would write about them in two separate posts.

Let’s begin with “too muchness.” Women (never men it seems), who have expressive personalities and energy, are often given the “too much” label. More often than not, the person triggered by the so-called “too muchness” energy, has work to do around their own energy, boundaries and ability to express themselves. The question for them is this: “Why am I being triggered by someone who is in their full expression?”

Perhaps what they are seeing is a mirror either of their own inner sense of “too littleness” or even their own “too muchness.” Ironically, “too much” people don’t always appreciate other “too muchness.” The larger questions when we are triggered are, “How am I in relationship with/to: 1) my own energy, 2) How do I express my energy? and 3) How is it received in the world?”

Sitting with these questions and observing your reactions may support you in feeling less triggered by others’ energy, raise your awareness and allow you to choose to respond differently.

Now, let’s look at it from another perspective…. This one may feel more confronting for those who believe that there is no such thing as “too muchness” and that we are to live into our full expression always and everyone else just needs to get over it!

A recent female client, who shared she was often accused of “too muchness” said that she didn’t want to dim her “light.”

We all want to show up in our light–as the essence of who we truly are–and to be seen, received and accepted unconditionally. It is not about dimming our light, but shining our true, pure one.

This brought up for me the questions of “What kind of light are you shining?” “Where is it coming from?” “And how is it being received?” Self awareness of where our light is coming from and how we are showing up in the world can be clarifying and illuminating.

Here are few possible scenarios of how our light can show up when it’s felt and received as “too muchness”:

*If the light is a spotlight on the other person, which shows up as insatiable curiosity, questioning and a need to know, that can be intense and energetically draining for the other person.

*If the light is a flashlight or headlamp shining inward on another person, which shows up as deep questioning of their inner world, that can be too intimate and energetically draining for them.

*If the light is super bright and blinding, which shows up as full on expression, but with little to no perception of or interest in the other person, that can be seen as self-absorbing, disconnecting and energetically draining.

The key word in all of this is “draining.” Pure light illuminates and energizes; it does not deplete energy.

The purest intention in shining and sharing your light is not only about being seen and accepted for who you truly are; but also about allowing others to feel that you truly see them, which brightens and strengthens their light.

Feel into that for a moment. Your light can illuminate theirs. And their light will strengthen yours. It’s a beautiful interchange of energy and light, and ultimately love.

The light that comes from pure, unconditional love illuminates another’s.

When you perceive that your light may be draining or depleting others, the questions to ask yourself are, “Where is my light coming from? And more deeply, “What is my true, underlying intention and motivation for shining my light?”

If it is coming from one of these places of deep unconscious need, it will inevitably dim other’s light and deplete their energy:

*need for validation: seeking love and acceptance

*attention seeking: seeking to be seen and heard

*conditionality: shining your light only when you receive what you want/need from another person and turning it off when you don’t; your light is conditional.

Now, all of this can be confronting or illuminating, depending on your willingness and capacity to sit and reflect on how you share and express your light and how it is received.

Do you make others shine? Be the light of luminous love and you will.

©Soulscape Coaching LLC.

The Cacao Journals: Energy & Awareness

~ nicole

Consciousness = Energy = Love = Awareness = Light = Wisdom = Beauty = Truth = Purity. It’s all the same trip. – Ram Dass

True awareness comes from a place of witnessing where we are aware of our thoughts and remain detached. Being aware energetically is the ability to be aware of our own energy and the energy of others, and not take on energy that isn’t ours. As an empath, I used to find myself unconsciously internalizing others’ feelings and energy, which took its toll on my physical and emotional health. Becoming aware allowed me to let go and heal.

This profound experience showed me we are energy. We can be dense heavy energy or negative toxic energy or high vibrational, clear light energy. We have the power to clear our own energetic field simply by being aware and choosing to let go. The process of clearing goes like this. First, become aware of your own energy and the effect it has and notice the energy of others you take on. Witness this from a place of non-judgment.

Second, choose to clear and lighten your energetic load, so you can be light energy. Some people subconsciously believe dense or negative energy serves them (it ultimately doesn’t), so they choose to hold on. This energy allows them to hold on to their story as the victim and brings them attention or gives them control and power from a place of subtle manipulation. Over time, it becomes toxic to them and others, and it shows up in their lives in negative ways. There is no escaping the effects of energy.

Third, let go and release the old, dense or negative energy through conscious effort. Energy healers (there are many kinds) are great resources for clearing. You can also do clearing on your own by sitting quietly and sending the energy into the earth or to your guides. Taking a purifying bath or cleansing shower afterwards supports clearing. Cacao, for me, is the ultimate purifier and brings with it such deep clarity. I have a powerful cacao elixir that does it every time! When in need, there’s always cacao.

So, that’s how to clear the energy when you take it on. What about not taking it on in the first place? The key is energetic awareness. When our energy is a clear light, we notice when other peoples’ is not. Sometimes, we know right away and can stay in witness mode; other times, the energy is harder to read because it’s veiled by charisma and subtle manipulation. We let our witness down.

Instead, our bodies respond after engaging with the negative energy, telling us something is not right. We feel intense discomfort; may shake uncontrollably or feel sick; our mind races, questioning why we’re feeling this way; and we can’t sleep. All these symptoms occur because our body’s wisdom knows and is responding to that energy. The same techniques that I shared above hold true here. In this case, you may need all of them to clear this more toxic energy.

As more and more of us clear our energy, those who want attention, control and power are attracted to us, not realizing that they actually can access their own clear light energy if they let go of their old conditioning and story. Clear energy is limitless and available to all.

When they do try, in subtle manipulative ways, to take your energy, often by making you wrong or blaming you, simply witness it. As they try to shift and spin the situation, even making themselves the victim, know this energy of blame is theirs, not yours. Stay as the witness. Be in your light.

As Ram Dass says, Awareness is Energy, Love, Light, Wisdom, Beauty, Truth, Purity and Consciousness. It’s all one. And you, in your clear light, are all of that. I celebrate you.

If you find yourself in a situation or relationship with a friend or loved one and the energy is feeling dense, heavy or toxic, please reach out for support. I’d be happy to have a 10-minute, no-cost session with you about how to release that energy, so you can be in your clear light. Send an email to nicole@soulscapecoaching.com and we’ll find a time.

Copyright ©2019 Soulscape Coaching LLC

The Cacao Journals: The Five Elements

~ nicole

If you even have a little mastery over the five elements within you, life will happen the way you want it to. – Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

The five elements are energies, not things. – Stefan Emunds, visionary author

When I began working with cacao several years ago, I created an altar for my personal cacao medicine journeys in the loft of our cabin in the redwoods. Enveloped in nature and feeling called to honor it, I was drawn to the elements: earth, water, air, fire and spirit/ether. Each direction of the altar represented an element and I found, purchased or made sacred treasures (crystals and stones, shells and a bowl of water, feathers, candles, a mala and medicine pouch) to honor them. In creating my altar with intention, love and beauty, I honored the elements and myself; it was nourishing, healing and exquisite.

In indigenous cultures, the elements are what everything in the universe is made of; they are all of creation; they are the circle of life. In yoga teachings, the elements help us understand the laws of nature and higher awareness. In Ayurveda, the elements are energies within the body-mind and are guides for our health. In paganism, we are made of all elements: earth our bodies; water our blood; air our breath; fire our spirit. In each of these traditions, when the elements are in balance life force flows positively.

In each of my ceremonies, I call in the elements as representations of the energies and qualities that, when in balance, make us whole and luminous. I created my own form for this, a universal honoring as I call in

  • Earth as Abundance, Nourishment, Love & Compassion
  • Water as Intuition, Flow & Messages from our Dreams and Soul
  • Air as Clarity, Illumination, Inspiration & Vision
  • Fire as Transformation, Life Force Energy & Creativity

The elements can also be identified as feminine and masculine aspects of ourselves: Earth and Water as the feminine; Air and Fire as the masculine. When they are in balanced relationship, we have integrated our masculine and feminine.

We are all whole and luminous in our deepest self and soul; our true purpose is to remember. Remembering comes when we give ourselves the space to drop into the ground of our being, that place of stillness and silence deep inside. No thought lays in wait here to hijack us, no emotion to be triggered, nothing to distract us. To find this place, we have to give ourselves over to it. Not easy at first, but it gets easier with practice; the mere act of intention, helps us to get there.

Ceremony, when done with intention, is the practice of giving ourselves over to the stillness, the silence where our wholeness resides. As Vanda Marlow, a wise soul sister, coach and facilitator, shared during her Soul Journey retreat at the Modern Elder Academy, “Ceremony is the intentional doorway into a wider world, a way to still oneself, the mind, and drop deeper into self. It all starts with a seed of intention.”

Ceremony drops us into this space, allowing us to honor each part, aspect and energy of ourselves and drop into the space of remembering who we truly are. Through this honoring, acceptance and integration, we walk in the world in our wholeness; we embody its truth.

In future blog posts (interspersed with other topics), I’ll be sharing more about each of the elements. I also have plans to honor them in a series of day retreats here in Northern California over the coming months and again next year in a week-long retreat to Guatemala. I’d be honored if you joined me in some way even if it just means reading my posts…..

Copyright ©2019 Soulscape Coaching LLC

Crystal Heart Wisdom II: Take the plunge and carry bubble wrap

~ nicole
Every person has the truth in his heart. No matter how complicated his circumstances, no matter how others look at him from the outside, and no matter how deep or shallow the truth dwells in his heart, once his heart is pierced with a crystal needle, the truth will gush forth like a geyser.
– Che Guevara

Once we have named our armor and pierce it with our inward gaze, we see with such clarity that it is what’s holding us back from the very thing we most want from life and love. We inadvertently hurt ourselves as we attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt. That’s some bad logic.

So, how do we begin to take our armor off without shocking our system? Let’s explore a few techniques: 1) slow or fast immersion, and 2) luminous egg creation/ bubble wrapping.

With the immersion technique, picture yourself walking into a lake: you let the water first swirl around your ankles, then your knees, your thighs and your belly (the most vulnerable spot of all to the cold) before you let it surround your whole body (and touch your heart center). You slowly introduce those vulnerable spots to the water until they acclimatize.

Being aware that you have armor on at all, is the water around your ankles. Naming it without judgment (and giving it a nickname), is the water around your knees. Witnessing it in action consciously and catching yourself when you put it on again, is thigh-high, more vulnerable water. When you can consciously walk into a room or a situation without it, that’s belly-level water, which sometimes takes your breath away.

Leading with your heart and your light is the ultimate water baby and may require a flotation system in the beginning (I’ll get to that in a moment). And then, there is always leaping into the water to shock your system just once (full armor off, skinny dipping style). Know that in any moment you can always step back to “safer” waters….

The technique you choose depends on how badly you want to feel again and have the life you truly want…. Slowly and cautiously or fast and ferociously. Each is a conscious act. The prick of the crystal needle, whether it’s once or many times, will reveal the truth.

As you venture into the water (at what ever level you are comfortable), you can create a luminous energy field around you that allows your light and truth out while protecting you from negative or intrusive energy.

You begin building a luminous egg of protective energy by bringing in white light through the top of your head (your crown chakra); surrounding yourself with light; creating a soft, but impenetrable, shell around you; and then closing it off at the top of your head.

In a workshop I recently hosted, a participant shared her “Bubble and Zip” technique, which is similar to the luminous egg:

“When you know you are going into a situation where you may get triggered and feel the need for armor, you bring in light energy and then wrap yourself around and around in bubble wrap and zip it up so it is impenetrable. Your light still shines through and you are protected!” – Katie Morell

Be luminous (and carry bubble wrap). It builds your crystal heart wisdom.

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching LLC

 

Soul gifts–does the Stork bring them?

~ nicole
At 50, I began to know who I was. It was like I was waking up to myself. – Maya Angelou

So, just where do our soul gifts come from? And are they the same as our purpose or our passion? Both are great questions I’m often asked and well worth exploring.

I believe that we’re born into the world with our soul gifts; so, yes, in a way, the stork brings them :). In the indigenous culture of the Maya, those gifts are divined, acknowledged and honored at birth as the local shaman meets with the parents to determine how best to support their child, so she can live into her gifts and path. What a beautiful gift to give your child: the promise and a plan to nurture his gifts as he grows.

Unfortunately, in the western world, we aren’t given this kind of support at our birth, and so often our gifts are diminished, ignored or unsupported, and we lose our connection to them. Without proper nourishment and care, they simply can’t grow and thrive.

What is fortunate is that we can reclaim those gifts and accelerate their evolution (I know because that’s exactly what I did)…. So, all is not lost, dear soul warrior.

Reclaim your soul gifts

The beauty and richness of knowing our soul gifts is why I start my soul path coaching and courses with Mayan Day Sign readings, the ancient practice that Mayan shamans use in their divination work. These readings guide you through the evolving stages of your life; support you in finding your gifts, purpose and path; and show you what will allow you to achieve those goals and live into your destiny. They are an advanced system for understanding the energies that support and awaken your inner knowledge.

In the west, many believe we are a tabula rasa, a blank slate that we can mold into anything we want to be. Undoubtedly, free will and willpower are extremely powerful. However, we tend to use them a bit blindly: we set our sights on getting or being something and we go for it, but what we achieve doesn’t often acknowledge, nurture or cultivate our soul gifts.

When we forget or ignore those gifts, we feel unfulfilled even when we attain our goal. When we leave our soul bereft; it will cry out in anguish at some point–showing up as anger, frustration, depression, and even addiction or dependency–and we ignore its messages at our peril.

When we wisely use our free will and willpower and choose to fully embody and live into our soul gifts and path, we find our voice and our soul power, and we live a life full of meaning, purpose, and joy.

Share your soul gifts and shine.

So where does that leave purpose and passion? Soul gifts lead you to your purpose. Soul gifts are an energetic life force within you made up of specific characteristics, aspects and energies that are seeking realization. To truly understand your life purpose, you must know your soul gifts first.

We’ve all heard inspirational spokespeople say, “Follow your bliss,” or “Follow your passion,” and while that is a beautiful thing, it will not fully satisfy your soul. Your soul desires more. While passion projects may bring you joy, the joy of your soul gifts is deeper. Its joy connects you to your deepest self, the one that seeks meaning, the one that is your highest potential, the one that wants you to be of service to something much larger than yourself. Passions can be a little bit myopic; sometimes we want to keep them all to ourselves. Soul gifts must be shared.

Once you reclaim and start living into your soul gifts, you share your gifts by just being you, who you truly are, not the construct you’ve been trying to live into. Your self realization is their realization. And when you reach this point, and as you release the energy of your soul gifts into the world, your “work” becomes your joy. It’s an unbelievable feeling.

Feel into what it would mean to reclaim and live into your soul gifts. What would become possible for you?

Follow my Blog or Join my Soul Warrior Tribe and be soulful all the time….

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

Positive intentions & good vibrations: we need more of those….

~ Nicole Gnutzman ~ 2 Comments
When you have clarity of intention the universe conspires with you to make it happen. – Fabienne Fredrickson
An intention synchronistically organizes its own fulfillment. – Deepak Chopra

img_3752Positive intentions set good vibrations in motion. Maybe that’s what the Beach Boys’ song was all about…. Or maybe it was just a song about mutual attraction. In either case, when we set positive intentions and send good energy out; good energy comes back.

Just this past week, three of my clients wanted to set and declare an intention: one around relationship, another around purpose and a third around boundaries. Each needed a little guidance on how to set powerful, positive intentions, so I thought I would share some tips here.

As I guided them toward creating their intention, I could not only feel their energy rising in a positive way, but also mine. Fringe benefits to doing the work I do :). And I was so inspired by witnessing the beauty of intention setting that I decided to set my own….

An intention is a positive, guiding principle for how you want to be, live and show up in the world or for what you want to show up in your world such as the ideal mate, client, work or anything you want to manifest.

Positive intentions are just that: positive. They declare in positive terms and in the present tense what we are or want, not what we aren’t or don’t want because those nasty “n’t” words have negative energy attached to them, send confusing messages to Spirit, and when we really feel into them, make us feel kind of crappy.

If you’re struggling with an intention and have no idea where to start, it’s ok to list what you don’t want or how you don’t want to be. A “not this” list can be very clarifying as to what you do want. Just make sure you find a way to let go of that list and its negative energy (burning the list in a bowl is a great way to do that).

A beautiful, positive intention is not a list (this is very critical to note); it is a statement in life-affirming words of your intention. Allow it to emerge from deep within you (feel into it) and it will naturally be aligned with life and Spirit. After all, she is the one who really makes it happen when you release your beautiful intention to Her.

I’ll demonstrate. This is my intention for how I am in my work:

img_3101“I am a soul warrior, a guide, a pathmaker, a light of possibility, who embodies my soul gifts, acts in integrity with my soul’s path, speaks the truth wisely, shares my voice for transformation, is powerful and empowering, fiercely compassionate and caring; I adore, value and respect my clients as they do me, my gifts, my time and my wisdom.” When I wrote this, just this morning, it flowed. And when I read it out loud to my husband, he closed his eyes and said it was beautiful and true. Love him.

And this was my husband Scott’s intention for manifesting a loving partner (that would be me :)) 11 years ago:

“I want a healthy, abundant, nourishing relationship with a whole, happy, beautiful and creative woman.”That’s it; so simple and yet it has such depth of meaning. And I showed up seven days later….

Here’s one more from a client, who was making everyone else’s needs a priority over her own, wanted to reclaim her power and her creativity, and set better boundaries with her customers and in her personal relationships:

“I am powerful, I prioritize me and my creative side, I am valued and paid well for my work, and I love my customers, who value, respect and appreciate me and my creative gifts.” She felt that its guiding power would help her make positive, life-affirming plans for herself and her business.

img_3755Can you feel your own energy rising as you read these intentions? Are you feeling inspired to write one of your own?

I’d love to have you share your intention either here as a comment or send me a private email, so I can celebrate you and who you are becoming or what you are inviting into your life!

Feel into and write your intention. Be guided by it. Say it out loud. Make it your daily mantra. Let it inspire you. Spirit has your back on this.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Valentine’s to the Eagle & the Condor, may they be one again

~ Nicole Gnutzman
I honor myself…As the divine feminine blends with the masculine. I now come into balance. – Trudy Vesotsky
When the sacred masculine is combined with the sacred feminine inside each of us, we create the “sacred marriage”of compassion and passion in ourselves. –Matthew Fox

img_2816This past Saturday, I held cacao ceremony for a women’s group and their partners in a gorgeous yurt nestled in the redwoods. To honor their coming together as couples in ceremony, which is a rare and beautiful thing, I created a theme that called on western astrology, Mayan cosmology and Amazon prophecy to reflect the energy of the divine feminine and masculine. I knew it would be a wild ride full of potentiality, which in itself is such a luscious word full of rich, nuanced meaning, that I simply had to share the experience here with you.

This past New Moon on January 28th was in Aquarius, an Air sign, that is independent, innovative, rebellious, evolutionary and brings the winds of change and inspiration. It is full of spirit energy, symbolizing “the eternal giving of life and spiritual food of the world.” * Aquarius brings the gift of expanded consciousness, a paradigm shift towards “love, inclusion and integrity”* while balancing intellect and insight, intuitive energy and integrated, transformative power. It is a powerhouse of the most inspired qualities of the divine masculine and the divine feminine.

img_3716

Right now we are all being called to awaken together to use our voices and power to defend and protect our rights, the planet and all people–we are rising into our truth. This is our vision and our inspiration, and one we need to embrace together to attain.

From the stars and planets of western astrology, we reached across time to Mayan cosmology and the day sign of February 4th, 2017: Kame, which means death, the cycle of life, and transformation. It is a time of profound change, soul level choice and higher expression. It asks us to face and release our fears, so we can relax into our soul’s true purpose and potential. The number 2, associated with this day, signifies duality and choice, relationship and self-sacrifice; it is the number of lovers, of course.

img_3720From the Mayan world, we entered the Amazon rainforests to honor the prophecy of the Eagle and the Condor, which foretold that human societies would split into two paths: one of the Eagle, which symbolizes the path of the mind, the material and the masculine; and the other, the Condor, which is the path of the heart, intuition and the feminine. The prophecy also foretells that the potential exists within all of us for the Eagle and the Condor to come together and fly in the same sky when we create a new level of consciousness and live in balance with nature and within ourselves. It is up to us to activate the potential.***

Each of these reflections of energy–from the prophecy of the Amazon to Mayan cosmology to western astrology–show us the path of where we are being asked to go, towards a higher expression of ourselves, the balancing and integration of masculine and feminine energies.

As the supine couples emerged from their cacao journey, each was transformed. The men in circle expressed their gratitude for the powerful feminine energy they felt in the room, and within themselves, while they had tears streaming down their faces. The glowing women shared how fearless they felt connecting to their divine masculine. Their tears and their joy at being reconnected with themselves, their partners and life itself was testament to what’s possible when we live into our fully conscious potential. It was truly divine.

I echo what one of the women of light shared as we closed the beautiful and powerful ceremony by wishing you a “Happy Valentine’s Day.” May it be a day of the divine expression of the power of love and reconnection.

moon-sun-art

 

Copyright © 2017 by Soulscape Coaching LLC.
*from Aquarian Styles: http://aquarianstyles.tumblr.com/post/100854962887/the-water-bearer-symbolizes-an-eternal-giving-of
**from Mystic Mamma: http://www.mysticmamma.com/new-moon-in-aquarius-january-27-28th-2017/
***from Pachamama.org: https://www.pachamama.org/blog/the-eagle-and-the-condor-prophecy

Finding the courage to come out of the woods….

~ Nicole Gnutzman
Do not look for a sanctuary inside anyone except yourself. – Buddha
Remember…the entrance to the sanctuary is within you. – Rumi

I am a woodland elf, or at least that’s what my husband affectionately calls me. I must admit that I do look a bit elvish (someone also once called me Cindy Lou Who from Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas), but I digress…. And I do thrive in the woods; there’s just something about the energy of trees and sunshine.

img_3462

And so, living into my elvish nature, I lived on “retreat” in the redwoods near Mendocino, CA for the past year guiding clients to find their soul’s path and gifts and deepening my own inner transformation. It was the perfect work–life balance and the most nourishing sanctuary I have ever experienced. I could have stayed there forever nibbling on nuts and berries or whatever elves eat.

p1020734But Life or Spirit or the Universe had another idea in mind. Just when you think you have let go of everything you no longer need, you realize there’s always more, more to let go of and more to live into….. So, you ask, what had I become so attached to, that I didn’t want to let go of? My sanctuary in the woods.

Yup, I was getting a bit too comfortable there, all cozy by the wood fire, holding ceremony in my sacred space in the loft, and working remotely in my pajamas (actually, I wore real clothes, but I could have been in my PJ’s).

And then, the owner of our cabin (we rented), sold it! I was in shock; I was in denial all the way through escrow; I was simply devastated. And I discovered that I was not immune to the effect of change. The rugs that gets pulled out from under us take many forms; mine happened to be made of wood and glass and stone.

So, we found ourselves having to find another sanctuary, something we had done before, so we weren’t too worried. We’d always been pretty good at manifesting beautiful places to live. Only this time, nothing showed up. Or what showed up was so not right for us that we started to question ourselves. Were we not clear about what we wanted, were we sending Spirit mixed messages, or did She have something else in mind for us?

In a moment of deep sadness, I prayed to Spirit and asked why I was losing my home and sanctuary, and She gently told me, “Your sanctuary is within. You carry it everywhere you go. It is all you need.”

Perhaps it was time for me to come out of the woods…. Especially now. Staying in the woods when conscious awareness and activism are so needed at this time would have been my version of running away, an escape from hard reality, a retreat of a whole other kind.

So, here I am, writing this from our sailboat in Sausalito, our tiny home on the water for now, re-engaging with life, old friends and community; finding ways to be of service; and bringing my gifts to guide others to find theirs, so we may heal and be whole, strengthen our resiliency and resolve, and co-create the world we want to see.

We all have our own woods to which we retreat. And we each are our own sanctuary. What’s needed now is for us to find the courage to come out of the woods, find ways to nourish our inner sense of sanctuary, and find ways to share our gifts and be of service.

sun-mask-ceramic

 

 

 

 

Our shy souls: approach with trust

~ Nicole Gnutzman
Separated from our own souls. We end up living divided lives, so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the “integrity that comes from being what you are” – Parker Palmer citing Douglas Wood

img_3340The soul is shy” shares Parker Palmer in his book, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward and Undivided Life, and rare are those places where it feels safe and supported and seen.

Many of us who care about, and have faith in, the soul believe we came into this world with a pure and perfect one, and that, over time, it hides in fear as the “powers of deformation from within as well as from without” distort it. Gosh, I would hide too if I was being tormented endlessly.

Fortunately, the soul is a resilient little (or not so little) thing, and it bides its time waiting for when it’s safe to come out “toward the light of [its] own wholeness.”

So, what makes for a safe haven for the soul? According to Palmer, it’s “a circle of trust” of supportive and loving acceptance, where we can finally hear our inner truth and listen to the guidance of our inner teacher. It’s where we can talk to the soul through a “third thing”: through poetry, story,  music or a work of art that explores a topic the soul wants to approach ever so gingerly.

Gently approaching the soul can take other forms–through transformation coaching, where the coach builds a container of trust to approach the soul indirectly; through ceremony and ritual where we honor the wholeness and interconnectedness of life; through working with our dreams, which are messages from our soul; and through soul path work, which guides us to and through archetypal energies. The soul loves nothing more than beauty, metaphor, imagery, deep meaning, and purpose held lovingly in a sacred container. They are gentle and yet powerful ways to touch and heal the soul.

img_3482

When approached too directly and before trust has been established, the soul runs away and hides, “afraid that [its] inner light will be extinguished or [its] inner darkness exposed.” So we must tread carefully toward it, honoring its shy nature, its innocence and its light.

My own journey with my soul has been a circuitous one. I could always feels its presence, its “still, small voice”and yet I tuned it out, wanting, and sometimes pretending, to be something that I wasn’t. Extrovert wannabe, who denied the beautiful gifts of her introversion; ‘perfect’ daughter, who hid her wild partying on weekends and got straight A’s during the week (until Calculus came along); and calm, cool, and collected corporate warrior, who was nicknamed the Ice Princess.

I chipped away at the ice for a long time, and as I got closer to my soul, my approach became less direct. My soul, in its small voice, insisted on it. So, through ceremony and my dreams, and opening myself to the slender threads she left for me to follow, I found a warm soul huddling deep within me.

ice-and-snow

Apparently, it’s not so little after all: it’s big and bright and yet gentle and sweet. It can be insistent and a wee bit demanding (I would be too if I hadn’t been listened to for decades), but it always knows what I most need.

I am now a proud, self-proclaimed introvert, who lusciously revels in her alone time, names her imperfections with glee (and laughs), and whose inner light has finally melted all vestiges of that ice…. Hmmm, maybe that’s why I had to move to California from Canada :).

Parker Palmer’s own journey to wholeness has taken a similar path, and I share with deep respect some of his wisdom: being divided from our soul “often seems like the easier choice” but “we pay a steep price” when living a divided life, “feeling fraudulent, anxious about being found out, and depressed” about denying our own selfhood. “A fault line runs down the middle of [our] life…divorcing [our] words and actions from the truth [we] hold in. That’s when things “get shaky and start to fall apart.”

His words touched my soul. May they touch yours in such a way that your soul peeks out from whatever it is hiding behind, and it says, “Hi there, I’m here, can you help me find my way back home?”

Copyright ©2016 Soulscape Coaching LLC