creativity

The Cacao Journals: Seeking the Wave of Solitude

~ nicole

Without great solitude, no serious work is possible. – Pablo Picasso

Solitude not people. More words than work. Create and express. Share knowledge. Plant seeds. Cultivate consciousness. Trust and believe. My new mantra (see my previous blog post for the story behind this).

So, you’re probably wondering, how’s that going, Nicole? Well, it’s been challenging and enlightening at the same time. Right after sharing my post, several friends reached out and said, “I’d love to get together with you and talk about your post.” Hmm, what exactly did they not understand about solitude? And the funny thing is I actually met with them (so what did I not understand)?! My first lesson was to set boundaries, which open up the time and space to be in solitude. I’m with Picasso on this one.

As you can sense, I’m slowly easing into this solitude thing. Slipping it into moments between events already booked (I’m a big believer in holding commitments), being judicious about new events and asking myself, “Can I do less and yet express more of my experience and lessons?” More words than work. The answer is a definite “yes.” Allowing myself the time to drop into a more contemplative and exploratory space is key for clarity and insight to come.

The kind of writing and creative pursuits I engage in now matter. My blog posts actually help me get clear and share lessons at the same time. I also put together a proposal as a visiting practitioner for retreat centers, a flyer for my soul sister day retreats and some event postings. I found myself asking, “Do those count as words not work?” My inner wisdom said “Nice try, Nicole, that’s actually work. The ego is so very clever, isn’t it, which brings up the power of awareness and catching the ego in its little tricks.

Last summer and fall I spent a lot of time writing a proposal and sample chapters of a book that I submitted to a publisher in December. Apparently, it needed some work (I did not know that spiritual words were jargon), so I’m finding my way back to it slowly, circling it like a cat does before making its bed. It holds so much of my knowledge about the sharing of cacao medicine; it’s also the curriculum for a workshop. Ways to share my knowledge more creatively that I need to revisit.

It’s time to finish making your bed, Nicole. Is it weird that I’m writing about myself in the third person? It’s as if someone else is giving me advice at the moment. I like it! An inner coach. And, then my inner critic comes along with a little snipe and says, “writing does not pay the bills” (see Trust and Believe).

Just make the bed and then plant the seeds. I realized that to plant new seeds, I needed to seed and cultivate my own consciousness first. I’m revisiting a meditation form I began last spring and rereading some books on consciousness that are now making so much more sense to me. I’m feeling a sense of personal momentum and growth, which is wonderful after many months of focusing on the spiritual growth of others.

The sun finally made an appearance here in California yesterday, so I went to the beach and walked, meditated, read and had deep insights about what I was reading. After I got home, I followed some guided meditations (in between cat naps). A day of solitude in nature was profound. A drum journey I took today showed me my jaguar lounging on a tree branch as she shared, “It’s not time to hunt right now,” which prompted me to write this post. I just can’t get away from the message no matter where I go!

Trust and believe–the last part of the shaman’s message–is the ultimate message. If we live in a quantum world where anything is possible, then I want to get on that quantum wave co-creating an flowing with the universe where and how to surf in solitude. Warm water, easy surf break, sunny skies, and a white sandy beach in Baja Sur (my MEA compadres will totally understand). Flow and possibility.

As I explored this territory of solitude, several questions came to me that you may want to play with:

What becomes possible for you in solitude? What do you need to do and how do you need to be, so you can allow yourself time and space ? How can you drop in more deeply by cultivating awareness and consciousness for insight, clarity and creativity? What wave are you wanting to create, catch and ride?


Copyright ©2019 Soulscape Coaching LLC.



Cacao Journals: Finding Sanctuary

~ nicole
Remember the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you. – Rumi

Sanctuary is vital to me. Where I live, how I live and who I share my life with must be in alignment with that. I love the energy of the natural world, as you know, so my recent move marks a return to living in nature, surrounded by trees, a pond, wildlife and the sound of the ocean in the distance (and a cacophony of tree frogs when I go to sleep :)). I feel a sense of peace and tranquility here that I simply don’t in the city with its energetic human hum and traffic noise.

My ceremonial, drumming, coaching and healing work calls for being present, deeply authentic and in full integrity in every moment, which means I must cultivate and call on my own inner sanctuary to be of service.

I cultivate inner sanctuary in several ways: 1) living in nature, or when I can’t, visiting it frequently in silent devotion, 2) quieting my mind in meditation and noticing when it gets too noisy in there or too darn critical, and 3) journeying to the drum or with cacao and hanging out with my spirit guides, who just happen to live in beautiful natural landscapes or should I call them “soulscapes”?

Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time. – Hermann Hesse

In cultivating my outer sanctuary, I have to know what environment and energies bring me inner peace and tranquility. For instance, I’m a forest, lake and beach girl; you may be a meadow, desert or mountain girl or guy.

Find your outer sanctuary and “go” there often by bringing it inside of you. Even if it’s thousands of miles away, put on some music that calls you there, close your eyes, and imagine being there. Take it in with all your senses. Or come journey with me and I will take you to that place.

Sanctuary is much like how we dress here in Northern California; it comes in layers, both outer and inner. Cultivate all your sanctuaries. You will discover they bring you the clarity of mind, focus, inspiration and illumination you need to bring your creativity and brilliance fully into the world. Not to mention inner wisdom and deep peace….

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching LLC

Stealing fire while imbibing the food of the gods?

~ nicole
“Ecstasis doesn’t absolve us of our humanity. It connects us to it. It’s in our brokenness, not in spite of our brokenness, that we discover what’s possible.” – Stephen Kotler and Jamie Wheal from Stealing Fire

What do cacao, also known as theobroma cacao or the food of the gods, and stealing fire from the gods (think Prometheus) have in common? Both cacao and fire were to be shared with humankind to empower them and bring them closer to the gods.

In their book, Stealing Fire: How Silicon Valley, the Navy SEALs, and Maverick Scientists Are Revolutionizing the Way We Live and Work, Stephen Kotler and Jamie Wheal, tell the tales of the new “Promethean upstarts…who are using ecstatic techniques to alter consciousness and accelerate performance.” Interwoven in these tales is extensive scientific research on plant medicines and other ecstatic modalities that evoke “ecstasis…the act of stepping beyond oneself and connecting to a greater intelligence.” This is the act and application of stealing fire and not only is it catching on, it’s spreading like wildfire….

And, so, what’s the connection to cacao? In their book, Kotler and Wheal explain the relationship between plant medicines and hallucinogens and the six powerful neurochemicals–serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, norepinephrine, anandamide, and oxytocin–that underpin the experience of ecstasis. Raw, ceremonial grade cacao in high doses just happens to stimulate all six of the neurochemicals required for this altered state of higher consciousness that enables “group flow” and enhanced performance.

Not only is ceremonial cacao fairly readily available (although you do need to know the right sources–not all cacao is the same), it’s delicious, and, most importantly, it’s legal. You don’t have to go all the way to Peru or be part of an underground movement to experience it.

Cacao ceremony, in its present day form, is moving beyond alternative music festivals and ecstatic dance gatherings into more mainstream, mind-body-spirit venues, and it’s going corporate, in the Promethean tech space. Google has held cacao ceremony for some of its staff.

According to the authors of Stealing Fire, accelerating developments in, and the understanding of, nonordinary states of consciousness are enabling a

“revolution in human possibility…. Experiencing the selflessness, timelessness, effortlessness, and richness of nonordinary states of consciousness can accelerate learning, facilitate healing, and provide measurable impact in our lives and work.”

And cacao is going to play a role in that. It’s about to catch on fire….

If you have followed my blog or read my website bio, you know that I have imbibed cacao, a gentle plant medicine, to access states of higher consciousness in personal ceremony; have trained in this ancient practice with plant medicine teachers; and hold private and group cacao ceremonies to share this experience with others, so my experience of what’s possible positively echoes the authors’.

Cacao ceremony offers not only inspired creativity, mind-body-spirit connection, and amplified performance; but also healing, integration and connection to life itself. It empowers us to be fully human.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC.