joy

Healing your core wound by living into your soul gifts: how brilliant is that?

~ nicole
Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts. – Rick Warren

Can your core wound be a gift? Some teachers in the Finding your True Purpose/Soul’s Path space believe that it’s our inner core wounds, which we experience as a young child, that become our gifts. While I was (and am still) fascinated by this concept and agree with these teachers, and could see how their own wounding became their gift, I couldn’t quite apply the concept to myself. Often we’re the last to know, aren’t we?

You see, I came to understand my soul gifts through reflection from friends and colleagues; by studying my Mayan Day Sign, which is all about soul gifts and path, and understanding the qualities of my birth animal totem from the Native American tradition; and only then did I take the patterns I saw there and look back into my childhood to see if they were reflected. I certainly saw my soul gifts–the gifts I came into the world with–and I was aware of my core wound, but I didn’t quite see how my wound could be a gift, my gift to the world…. It felt like, just a wound.

So here’s how my realization unfolded for me. As I lived more fully into my soul gifts –my ability to deeply listen and hold space for others, reflect back a whole and healing perspective, and guide others to find their own gifts and path­–I began to share my experience and my story with anyone who would listen.

And here’s what’s fascinating: my core wound was all about not having a voice, about not feeling worthy enough on an unconscious level to share my thoughts and beliefs and even feelings. My voice (and me by association) did not matter.

When I began walking my soul’s path, I discovered that I finally had something to say, something of value to share, something that just had to be said, so I couldn’t stop talking or writing about it. For the first time in my life, I didn’t care if people glanced at me sideways or thought I was crazy or were just humoring me. I knew that what I had learned and experienced was real and true and beautiful, and that I had no choice, but to share.

It was in the sharing that I was healing myself. It was in the sharing that I found purpose and meaning. It was in the sharing that I found joy. It was in the sharing that I was guiding others to their own healing.

Finding my voice was a bright, new shiny gift. How brilliant is that?

So, the questions I find myself asking are: “What do I do with my voice, beyond what I’m already doing?” “How do I amplify my voice for its highest and best use?” “How do I help others find their voice, so they may have more purpose, meaning and joy in their lives?” “How can this gift keep on giving?” Because you know it’s going to be contagious, but in a good way….

How can our gifts keep on giving?

I’m still here in this new territory of voice, feeling my way through it, but it gives me no end of joy to contemplate it. I have opened the door to possibility. And now I have shared it with you.

May my sharing somehow inspire you to find and truly value your own voice, or find your own core wound, which may not be your voice but another, and heal it, so it becomes your bright gift to the world.

Please share your thoughts with me. I’d be honored to hear from you. And that way, I will have the privilege of responding with my voice to you. I need all the practice I can get :).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A transformed life

~ Nicole Gnutzman
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The soul is greater than anything you ever lost. – Anonymous

So, remember how that Mayan shaman told me it’s now time for me to teach about “death?” Well, that’s a daunting task to be given, and one I’ve been procrastinating about for awhile now, so I am humbly and carefully treading into this dark vale. Consider this an exploration and an offering….

What’s vaguely comforting to me is that I know this subject fairly well, having experienced many symbolic deaths of my own when I began to question my life and who I was. I won’t deny that there were many tears and lots of fear, and a sense of loss and confusion at times, but what I gained in comparison to what I lost is immeasurable. What I found was me and she was waiting for me all along….

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Bat spirit animal: symbolizes shamanistic death

In shamanic traditions, a shaman experiences many symbolic deaths before he or she passes the tests, some of which are death-defying, and attains spiritual awakening. In the shamanic world, these tests invite the initiate to question his or her sense of personal identity and old ways of life, and to create a new relationship to life from the void of darkness (often a symbolic grave).

In our more mundane world, we too must experience symbolic deaths in order to live fully into life itself and who we truly are. Fortunately, the tests we face usually don’t push us to the edge of death, but they do, just like the shaman initiate’s, threaten who we believe we are. They make us question our beliefs, fears, expectations, and identity.

When we hold on, out of the fear that letting go of these things (and letting them die) will somehow diminish us, we end up living unconsciously, going through the motions, and being in denial. When we hold on, we are acting from a place of fear and scarcity, and what we then experience and feel is a deep lack in our lives. It takes away our joy.

When we allow the beliefs that limit us, the fears that hold us back, the expectations that cause us to want to be someone we actually aren’t, the masks and the armor we put on to hide and protect ourselves, to die, we open ourselves to transformation. It is only then, when we have let go, that we can create and begin to live into new, life-affirming beliefs about ourselves and life itself.

img_3249We need to sit on the rim of darkness and fish for fallen light with patience. – Pablo Neruda

As we go through this vale of darkness, we feel sadness and even grief, and we may feel alone and empty, but what we don’t realize until we’re through it is that what emerges from this void is beautiful–it is powerfully grounded and filled with luminous light and deep wisdom.

What emerges is YOU, the real you, the one who left behind all the “baggage” you carried for so long. It feels good to let go of that which you no longer need. You are lighter. You feel joy again.

Sometimes you, don’t realize the weight of something you are carrying until you feel the weight of its release. – Unknown

 

Life is always asking us to grow and live into our future. If we resist and hold on, we are denying the symbolic deaths that will lead to our own transformation. And when we resist our destiny, we die to life itself. Just on the other side of darkness is the light, our light.

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Copyright ©2016 Soulscape Coaching LLC

 

 

 

 

What makes you weep?

~ Nicole Gnutzman

P1000133Yesterday, I was contemplating what to write for my blog post. Usually, ideas just come to me and they flow. A couple came to mind, but they felt flat, there was no flow, my energy did not rise with them. And if my energy does not rise as I write, then my reader’s energy certainly isn’t going to either….

So, when does my energy rise? When I care deeply about something or someone. When I feel joy or even sorrow. When I weep. And that’s when I remembered what made me weep last week.

I primarily coach women who are looking to find their soul’s path. And, as I do that, I discovered that after we’ve explored their gifts and what they love, moved on to addressing their fears and limiting beliefs, and created the confidence to begin living into their new soul-fulfilling beliefs, inevitably, romantic relationship comes up.

My clients want to know how to heal and grow their current relationship or how to create a healthy, loving supportive relationship if they don’t have a partner. In either case, they recognize deep in their beautiful soul that their relationship needs to support the whole, healthy, vibrant person they are becoming. I weep with joy for them as that come to that level of clarity.

And what I hear, when my clients share their worries and concerns about their current partner or the people they are meeting, is that they are not being met, their soul is not being lifted up or nourished, and they know in their heart that something more is possible. And that is what they truly want.

In the past, we often looked to our romantic partner for certain needs, be they financial or familial or sexual, and that is no longer the case. We don’t “need” partners in the way we traditionally did. We need them at a much deeper level. And that is when I wept again. I felt deeply for all partners, who want deep connection too.

To allow our partners to feel true connection, we have to find a way to express our deepest need for them, not from a place of neediness, but rather one of strength. To see and understand their gifts, to know what gives them true nourishment, and to be able to say with love and curiosity, “I need you,” or ” I need your help,” in such a way that they can respond with their gift or knowledge or strength. Deep connection follows the recognition of being truly seen.

Be curious. Express your appreciation. Ask for help that only your partner (or your prospective partner) can fulfill using their gifts. Create a sense of deep belonging. And watch what happens….

As we lift up and nourish our own soul and the soul of our partners, we all become whole. We live in alignment with our soul’s path. We love. We weep with joy.

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