possibility

The Cacao Journals: Disconnect from the Static

~ nicole

“I love how disconnected you are to the static,” a dear friend and soul sister shared with me. We had just had a conversation about how some of our spiritually minded friends were in fear, assigning blame or credit to what’s going on right now and attaching theories to them.

This move toward wanting to understand; being certain of something, of anything; finding the culprit “behind” the pandemic, wildfires, and lightning storms is disconcerting, disconnecting and ungrounding. Right now, more than ever we need to feel connected and grounded.

This “need to know” has affected our ability to, as Buddhist teacher, Pema Chodron, “be uncomfortable with uncertainty” and “embrace the unknown.” Our rational minds want to make sense of it all and our ego is having a fear-filled field day. And when it all comes down to it, the unknown is, well, unknown.

For those of us on a spiritual path, when we seek certainty, we are not honoring the teachings of our traditions or ourselves. Many of us have let go of ego attachment to our identities, limiting beliefs, assumptions. judgments along with larger belief systems and structures (social, political, economic) that attempt to make sense of, structure and even control.

And here we are, the ones who usually guide others to stay connected and grounded, caught up in the static, the noise, the disruptive, controlling forces that we have worked so hard to see and release attachment to. In fear, we are creating new belief structures to latch onto. Let’s open our eyes and see it for what it is….

In many spiritual traditions and in the Quantum world, all possibilities exist. What if extraterrestrials are trying to save or harm us? What if the conspiracy theories are true? They are only “true” because we make them so. Our energy, thoughts and focus make possibilities more possible. What if we chose to focus on the possibility we want, not the one we fear.

Free yourself of the burden of fear, blame and attachment. Hold a higher possibility in your mind and hearts. Invite in the highest possible outcome, whatever that is. Transform uncertainty into possibility. Live in flow not fear.

Photo by Ron Purdy.

No one and nothing is in control unless we allow them through our own resistance and fear. Disconnect from the static and reconnect to yourself, your inner light and wisdom. Allow that to be your guide in these tumultuous times and be a guide to lead us through. That’s my possibility.

Fueled, connected and inspired by daily cacao….

Copyright ©2020 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

The Cacao Journals: Transforming Disappointment

~ nicole

Awareness is inherently whole, complete and fulfilled in itself…..[I]t’s nature is happiness itself—not a happiness that depends upon the condition of the mind, body or world, but from a causeless joy that is prior to and independent of all states, circumstances and conditions. —Rupert Spira

This past week I believe I disappointed a friend when I cancelled plans because I wasn’t feeling well. I say, believe, rather than know for sure, because she isn’t returning my texts and calls. She could be super busy or maybe she’s working through her disappointment, but I suspect she’s just upset with me. I understand and have compassion. And I feel inspired to write this for all of us who have faced disappointment, so that we can redefine our relationship with it. 

Just this morning, as I was reflecting on this over my tea, I opened Rupert Spira’s book, Being Aware of Being Aware, to the page where I had left off reading it weeks ago. The above quote was waiting for me. No chance that. 

I have a deep and long history with disappointment as I’m sure many of us do. I still feel twinges of disappointment every so often, but I now know that when I acknowledge and release it in that moment, I open myself up to something even more beautiful. Often, the divine has had other plans for me…. I have found a way to transform my relationship with disappointment by being aware.

Several years ago I kept “being disappointed” by a family member. Every time we showed up to visit, she had other plans and would tell little white lies to hide behind. It infuriated me. I felt disrespected. And I realized it was making me miserable and I wanted my suffering to end.  

Reluctant to visit, we made another trip anyway. This time I was perfectly aware of my expectations and possible disappointment. I had begun to change my relationship with it. When, true to form, she disappeared, I actually sighed with relief and may even have laughed out loud because I saw it coming. In that moment, I received many gifts from my awareness—possibility, choice, freedom and joy. 

By letting go of my disappointment, which I had become rather attached to in a self-righteous way, I opened myself to possibility. That afternoon was blissful. I sat in the sun reading a book (two of my favorite things); spent sweet time with other family members; and when she finally reappeared, I transformed my relationship with her and with disappointment. If I had stayed in my disappointment and fury, I would have had a miserable time; instead I was in my joy. I was free of my suffering.

“I don’t mind what happens.” —J. Krishnamurti

This freedom opened my eyes. I realized that disappointment shows up when we are attached to and want to control a person or outcome: “It/she/he must be this way or I will be disappointed.” In trying to control, we seek to dominate; in being disappointed, we become the victim of our own failed domination. We inadvertently cause our own disappointment and suffering. Perhaps not an easy lesson to hear, but it is truth.

When we accept what is and let go of control, our disappointment lessens and transmutes. New possibilities emerge. We are at choice. That is freedom. That is “causeless joy.” All by simply being aware.

Copyright © 2020 Soulscape Coaching LLC. 

An expedition to who you truly are, Indiana Jones style

~ nicole
I have found my voice again and the art of using it. – Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

I went on an expedition looking for my soul gifts and along the way I found my voice.

I love when I hear young parents tell their children, “use your words” or “use your voice.” Encouraging them to use their voice is so unlike what those of us of a certain age were expected do; we were to be seen and not heard. Pair that with being told to “not” do so many things, or that what we did wasn’t “correct,” paralyzed not just our voices but our creativity. It raised “good” girls and boys, who possibly rebelled in more covert ways (I know I did), but it did not build women and men who felt they had something of value to say. At least that was my experience….

So, it’s been a lifelong struggle for me to find my voice, use my words and express myself. And now, after much revealing and healing, I can’t stop sharing my story and what I’ve learned because I know it has a purpose now: to guide, support and heal others.

Now, you may be asking yourself, what needed healing and how did I do it? The two are inextricably intertwined.

  1. I had to question the beliefs (assumptions and opinions) I had formed about not just myself but life itself, and discover what was real and true.
  2. I had to let go of expectations and wanting to control the outcome, which opened me to possibility and accepting uncertainty.
  3. I had to acknowledge and face my fear of being shamed, blamed, unapproved of, rejected or disliked.
  4. I had let go of aspects of my identity, and the persona I had created, that weren’t truly me or who I wanted to be.
  5. I had to feel into what I truly cared about and valued, not what my family, friends or society thought I should value.
  6. I had to move from a fear-based, scarcity mindset to one of abundance, which meant embracing gratitude, humility, acceptance, forgiveness, letting go, compassion, and unconditional love.
  7. I had to understand the essence of who I truly am.

From the depths of this inner work–it’s true, you have to do the work, my friends–emerged my true, authentic voice. And much healing, some of which was super subtle requiring just a soft touch.

It was an excavation, almost an anthropological dig, and at the bottom of it was me! I’m not going to say that all that digging and uncovering was easy or not messy; it was, but the result has been absolutely life-changing, life-affirming and life-giving for me.

Know that the excavation is necessary. Know that you don’t have to do all the digging alone. And know that those of us, who have gone on the dig before you, can and will guide you with unconditional love, support and maybe even a bit of wisdom. It’s our mission to do so. Indiana Jones style :).

Your voice is welcome here. So, let me know how this makes you feel.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

Gentle intentions–meditation without meditating

~ nicole
Setting intentions means to set a goal that is in alignment with our consciousness. To live intentionally and mindfully we start with a positive intention. – Dr. Romie Mushtaq

Intentions have been on my mind and in my heart ever since I found myself guiding clients to go deep with theirs. If you recall, I shared my experience with intention setting in a previous blog post along with some tips on how to create a positive intention. Here’s a link to the post if you’d like to revisit it.

I was so inspired by setting expansive positive intentions for who my clients are and how I want to be in my work, that I decided to set gentle intentions for myself each day and see what unfolded. And, to make sure I actually followed through, I challenged myself to post an intention each day on my Soulscape Facebook page. So I did….

Each morning over tea, I sat quietly and just allowed an intention to emerge. Each day’s intention was different based on how I was feeling, how I wanted to be or what I wanted to show up that day. After setting my intention for the day, I wrote it down and released it into the world. Sometimes, I would feel as though I was gently carrying a baby bird egg with me all day; and other days, I didn’t think about my intention for the rest of the day.

Setting these gentle intentions each morning was so clarifying for me in so many ways: my mind felt clear and uncluttered, my energy was calm and centered, and my heart was open and spacious. It was if I had meditated without meditating at all!

Having to revisit my intention from the day before as I added my new intention to Facebook each morning was both illuminating and gratifying. It allowed me to see what had shown up for me that day, and what was so amazing is that what and who showed up fully supported my intention for the day. My week was positively full of beautiful synchronicity.

Here are the 7 gentle intentions I set for the week:

Monday: “I set gentle intentions for myself each day that guide my soul.”

Tuesday: “I am grateful for what I have and what is yet to come.”

Wednesday: “I reach out and share my soul gifts in joy and with love.”

Thursday: “I nourish myself with friends, healthy food, walks in nature and meditation each day, so I thrive.

Friday: “I reflect the radiant light and energy of my sister (and fellow) soul-workers by creating, collaborating with, and contributing to our supportive community.”

Saturday: “I trust, listen to, and am guided by my intuition.”

Sunday: “I let go of and release my pain by opening to the wonder and mystery of life.”

And now I’m hooked! I can’t start my day without setting a gentle, positive intention. On the days that I try to convince myself I don’t have time or I don’t really need one, I find I can’t not write one…. I’m pulled towards it as if it has an energetic force or attraction of its own.

What becomes possible for us each day when we set a gentle intention? A more calm, centered,  and openhearted presence. Clarity of mind and intention. Supportive connections and synchronicity. What more lays on this path? That’s the path I want to walk, one where possibility opens up in front of me welcoming and supporting me each step of the way….

So, if you’re up for the challenge, set gentle intentions each day for one week, and let me know how it goes for you. I’d love to hear all about what shows up for you.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC

The warrior way–the path from fear to possibility

~ nicole

Sometimes I forget I’m a warrior on my own path of self-realization. So, when I come up against a formidable foe like fear, I have to force myself to look deeply inside and find my courage.

Fear is a gargantuan roiling force feeding on its own energy, a many headed dragon that keeps growing new heads when you chop one off. It takes fierce strength and self awareness to defeat it.

I have my own dragon–a fear of failure–that has been an ever present fear for me since childhood when being perfect was very valued.  It’s been a constant companion, stalking and sabotaging me, holding me back from doing the things I most need to do. And just when I believe I’ve conquered it, it comes back in another form.

Recently I launched a marketing campaign for my first online course. I procrastinated, I perfected, I despaired at the technology, I lost belief in myself–all self-sabotaging behaviors. When I felt such deep sadness about my loss of belief, it was only then that I was able to push the button and send out the campaign. I knew then that the many headed dragon of fear was rearing another of its ugly heads and was destroying me from the inside out. And that I had to stop it. I had to find the source of my fear.

So what lay under my fear? I was afraid that if I sent my offering out into the world, no one would want it, and that somehow that would be a rejection of me, of who I am at my core. That’s the fear of annihilation. Yup, it’s heavy stuff, but very real at an unconscious level.

Now I know that nothing and no one can touch my soul, my essence, who I am at my core (I’ve done a lot of work on this), but I have to remind myself of that over and over again….

Nothing can touch my soul

But there was something even more to my fear…. I was creating an apocalyptic what-if scenario. What if I put all this effort into creating something that no one wanted? What if no one signed up for my course? That’s devastating on so many levels, including financially. Annihilation all over the place. Very messy.

And then I realized that my mind was fabricating my own mess. I was so attached to a particular outcome, to people signing up, that if it didn’t happen, it would be catastrophic. But what if there were other possible outcomes I couldn’t even imagine? Aha.

So I looked at what was showing up for me: the very first day, I received beautiful well wishes and intentions to forward my offer to friends; thumbs up and hearts for sharing my feelings and fears; and heartfelt gratitude for inspiring people to face their own fears and put something of theirs out there too. Maybe, just maybe the outcome I so desired–of having people take my course–was not be the point of it after all….

  • What if my offering was to inspire others to share their gifts with the world?
  • What if other opportunities would show up for me that would allow me to share my gifts in other ways?
  • What if something else was waiting for me that I wouldn’t see or be open to unless my desired outcome didn’t happen?

Letting go opens up possibility

What I know deeply now is that it’s in the letting go of the outcome that the dragon of fear is neutralized. I can’t possibly know what Spirit (or the Universe) has in mind for me. Only She knows what I most need to learn or experience or how best to share my gifts. And that’s why we’re really here, isn’t it? To evolve into our wholeness, into our highest potential, and to live into our soul gifts.

Of course, I very much want people to take my course. Psst, click here if you’re curious. That is the intention I am putting out into the world and to Spirit. But I am not holding onto it in fear. I am letting it go and allowing other possible, amazing outcomes to show up. When I do this, I am fearless, open to possibility. That’s the warrior way.

How are you living into the warrior way? What becomes possible for you when you do?

What’s in your way…?

~ Nicole Gnutzman
Turn your wounds into wisdom and your stumbling blocks into stepping stones. – Robin Sharma

IMG_2814Some of us have blocks; some have walls and others have fences. Whatever you call yours, they are the unconscious beliefs we hold, or emotional wounds not yet healed, often developed at a very young age, that stop us from moving forward or making a change that would benefit us.

They are hard and unyielding, and imprison us. They trip us up and spiral us down emotionally. They stand in our way and divert us from our true path and what we truly desire.

 

And it’s hard to heal them because often we don’t even realize they are there. I’ve come to know that when the only thing standing in my way is me and my negative thoughts, then that’s a block my tired, old beliefs put there.

Finding your block and understanding it is fundamental to keeping it from showing up again and again, quietly infiltrating every part of your life. Because after all, life is an interconnected web. You know those goals you have for your work, your relationship, your health, your spirituality, and your joy? While they seem distant cousins, they are interrelated, and all of them will be thwarted by that little old block at some point. It’s that powerful, relentless and insidious.

What if you could step over your block or use it as a stepping stone? What if you could envision a beautiful gate in your fence or a wall with a secret opening?

IMG_2810

What becomes possible when you truly see the block, disempower it by naming it (I see you!), and transmute it by finding a way through it? You step onto your path, you walk through the gate of possibility, and you see with clarity what your future holds. To see, name, and transform what’s holding you back is both calming and liberating. The power that was in it, is now in you….

Change can either challenge or threaten us. Your beliefs pave your way to success or block you. – Marsha Sinetar

When you come up against a block or fence or wall in your life, look within. Be curious. Understand why it’s there without falling into the death spiral of blaming someone else or yourself for it being there. It just is. Name it (why that’s, “I’m not enough,” “I don’t deserve this” or “I’m afraid I’ll fail”). Feel your power as you recognize your belief for what it is. While at one point it may have protected you, now it’s no longer serving you, and it is in your way.

IMG_0844Come to see your block as a stone on a path in a beautiful Japanese garden; your fence with a curved wooden door, opening onto a gorgeous courtyard; your wall with a secret cavern opening to the sea. Your new beliefs are beautiful and spacious and they support you.

Take a step on the path. Open the door. Feel your burden lighten. See the possibilities before you. Walk on and through to where you truly want to be.

 

 

 

Postscript. As I was finishing this post, I came across a wonderful resource by Mary O’Malley, What’s in the Way, is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking up to Life. You may think I named my post after it, but it was actually the other way around. I named the post first and then it just showed up. That’s the way life can be when we fully open to it. 

Copyright ©2016 Soulscape Coaching LLC.