Ritual

The Cacao Journals: Element Earth, a Home Coming

~ nicole

I arise today

In the name of Silence

Womb of the Word,

In the name of Stillness

Home of the Belonging.

John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us

In life, as we take on identities, responsibilities, expectations, attitudes, opinions and defenses, we often lose our truest self, our deep soul. This loss happens slowly over time, so we don’t notice until we find we are “living” a joyless life, one that lacks a sense of wonder and abundance. We become dissatisfied, disillusioned, and ungrateful. We trudge through life and relationships thinking is this all there is?

What remains deep inside of us is a sliver of hope, an untouchable essence that despite hurt or neglect is pure in its light. How do we rekindle that and grow that sliver into a shining, radiant light? We begin by reclaiming who we always have been. That reclamation may look like an archeological dig or even feel like an uprooting as we pull up what took root, shake off the clumps of dirt, and see what’s left to sustain us, which may just be a few spindly, seemingly fragile, tendrils. Those tendrils, while tender hearted, are resilient; they have lasted this long, so they must be.

How do we tend to them, nourish them, give them what they need to grow stronger and push up toward the light? We have to get back to the ground of our being, to the earth of ourselves, to our home. We do this through stillness and silence, dropping deeper into the self by inviting the sacred in.

We begin at the beginning with the element, Earth. Earth as ultimate mother, as nourishment and abundance, as an unconditionally loving and compassionate being, who provides and sustains. Honoring and connecting to the Earth reconnects us to our deep self. This is the indigenous way, the original way of being for us all.

Two questions arise when we look more deeply at our soul loss. The first, “Who am I?” opens us to a sense of rediscovery, curiosity and innocence. Turning our attention to and tending to those spindly roots. The second, “What brings me joy?” allows for exploration, adventure and wonder. The light of joy that nourishes our new/old roots and allows them to flourish. In this space of openness and allowing, we come home to something new and yet familiar, a remembering of who we truly are. Begin by simply asking.

Stilling the mind and dropping into that space through sacred ritual and ceremony, meditative practices, being in solitude or on retreat, contemplative movement, and plant medicine gives us a way to come home to ourselves again and again until home is just where we always are.

Copyright ©2019 Soulscape Coaching LLC

The energy of place

~ Nicole Gnutzman ~ 9 Comments
Our heart knows what our mind has forgotten–it knows the sacred is within all that exists, and through a depth of feeling we can once again experience this connection, this belonging. – Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

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The belly button of all Creation. I’m not sure I could make up an image more evocative of the energy of place than that. That is what the indigenous people of Guatemala call Lake Atitlan. It is a deeply sacred place to them (and now to me).

I tend to feel the energy of places quite deeply and distinctly. When my husband and I vacationed on one of the Hawaiian islands, which I will not name, we found ourselves grousing and fighting on our first day, which was so unusual (we never fight) that we both looked at each other and said, “What’s going on here?” We felt into the energy and realized it was angry, almost rageful.

Once we named the energy and decided not to let it in, we were fine, but we agreed that it was not a place to which we wanted to return. Friends, who have visited that island and with whom we have shared our experience, also found themselves inexplicably argumentative on vacation while there. Some even went home early.

IMG_1917The energy of Lake Atitlan is like nothing I have ever experienced. As I boarded the boat in Panajachel that would take me to my solo retreat, I felt in awe of the lake’s vast expanse cradled amongst towering volcanos and highland hills. The energy was powerful but distinctly feminine. I felt sheltered and cared for, even held, by its energetic presence.

The wind off the lake was warm and invigorating, and it was deeply transformative, cleansing me of all monkey mind thoughts. It was as if the lake’s energy urged me to be present and the magic of the wind carried away all my worries and cares.

The wellness center for my retreat was nestled into the hills across the lake from the largest volcano; it felt as if it were watching over me, protecting me with a fierce nurturing love.

There are certain places in the world that are kind of energy vortexes, which are phenomenal. – Ian Somerhalder

As I spent my days relaxing into yoga classes, a massage, cacao ceremonies, a Mayan fire ceremony, writing in my journal, meditating and consciously admiring the beauty, I sensed a strange restlessness deep within me. How could I possibly be restless amongst all this peacefulness? It was then I realized how poorly I was sleeping and just how intense my dreams were. Something was not at rest very deep inside me.

When restless, I often meditate, so that’s what I did. And that’s when the realization came to me. I hadn’t fully embraced the energy of the lake; I was out of sync with her energy. She had been calling out to me all this time, and while I had acknowledged her energy, I hadn’t brought it into me. The only solution to my dilemma was to immerse myself in the lake. Literally.

I found a spot to wade in to the lake rather than jumping in off the dock, which seemed a bit too shocking to my system, immersed myself and drew the energy of the lake toward me. It felt like a warm bath. It was so soothing. I felt whole again. That night and each night after that, I slept like a baby and touched the sacred in my dreams.

IMG_2276I came home from my retreat open, spacious, fully present and reinvigorated. The light in my eyes stayed for weeks and weeks, and came from a deep place within me. This was no mere vacation glow. Touchstone moments and talismans from my retreat became reminders of that sacred, renewing energy. I could call upon it and return to that fierce and nurturing feeling anytime I wanted.

I vowed then to return to Guatemala, to the belly button of Creation, and the very first thing I will do is immerse myself in the lake, a ritual to honor the life-giving energy of a most sacred place.