Without great solitude, no serious work is possible. – Pablo Picasso
Solitude not people. More words than work. Create and express. Share knowledge. Plant seeds. Cultivate consciousness. Trust and believe. My new mantra (see my previous blog post for the story behind this).
So, you’re probably wondering, how’s that going, Nicole? Well, it’s been challenging and enlightening at the same time. Right after sharing my post, several friends reached out and said, “I’d love to get together with you and talk about your post.” Hmm, what exactly did they not understand about solitude? And the funny thing is I actually met with them (so what did I not understand)?! My first lesson was to set boundaries, which open up the time and space to be in solitude. I’m with Picasso on this one.
As you can sense, I’m slowly easing into this solitude thing. Slipping it into moments between events already booked (I’m a big believer in holding commitments), being judicious about new events and asking myself, “Can I do less and yet express more of my experience and lessons?” More words than work. The answer is a definite “yes.” Allowing myself the time to drop into a more contemplative and exploratory space is key for clarity and insight to come.
The kind of writing and creative pursuits I engage in now matter. My blog posts actually help me get clear and share lessons at the same time. I also put together a proposal as a visiting practitioner for retreat centers, a flyer for my soul sister day retreats and some event postings. I found myself asking, “Do those count as words not work?” My inner wisdom said “Nice try, Nicole, that’s actually work. The ego is so very clever, isn’t it, which brings up the power of awareness and catching the ego in its little tricks.
Last summer and fall I spent a lot of time writing a proposal and sample chapters of a book that I submitted to a publisher in December. Apparently, it needed some work (I did not know that spiritual words were jargon), so I’m finding my way back to it slowly, circling it like a cat does before making its bed. It holds so much of my knowledge about the sharing of cacao medicine; it’s also the curriculum for a workshop. Ways to share my knowledge more creatively that I need to revisit.
It’s time to finish making your bed, Nicole. Is it weird that I’m writing about myself in the third person? It’s as if someone else is giving me advice at the moment. I like it! An inner coach. And, then my inner critic comes along with a little snipe and says, “writing does not pay the bills” (see Trust and Believe).
Just make the bed and then plant the seeds. I realized that to plant new seeds, I needed to seed and cultivate my own consciousness first. I’m revisiting a meditation form I began last spring and rereading some books on consciousness that are now making so much more sense to me. I’m feeling a sense of personal momentum and growth, which is wonderful after many months of focusing on the spiritual growth of others.
The sun finally made an appearance here in California yesterday, so I went to the beach and walked, meditated, read and had deep insights about what I was reading. After I got home, I followed some guided meditations (in between cat naps). A day of solitude in nature was profound. A drum journey I took today showed me my jaguar lounging on a tree branch as she shared, “It’s not time to hunt right now,” which prompted me to write this post. I just can’t get away from the message no matter where I go!
Trust and believe–the last part of the shaman’s message–is the ultimate message. If we live in a quantum world where anything is possible, then I want to get on that quantum wave co-creating an flowing with the universe where and how to surf in solitude. Warm water, easy surf break, sunny skies, and a white sandy beach in Baja Sur (my MEA compadres will totally understand). Flow and possibility.
As I explored this territory of solitude, several questions came to me that you may want to play with:
What becomes possible for you in solitude? What do you need to do and how do you need to be, so you can allow yourself time and space ? How can you drop in more deeply by cultivating awareness and consciousness for insight, clarity and creativity? What wave are you wanting to create, catch and ride?
Copyright ©2019 Soulscape Coaching LLC.
Have you ever held onto something or someone too long out of habit or comfort or even fear of change, and then suddenly the decision is made for you? That’s black jaguar medicine. She brings you just what you need, even when it hurts.
The black jaguar sees beyond this world as she walks between all three: the middle world (what we know as earth), the lower world (where plant and animal spirits reside), and the upper world (where our ancestors and spirit guides live). Her power is often associated with shamans, who are able to walk among these worlds, and bring knowledge and wisdom back from these realms to heal. She brings us her medicine, her “fast healing.”
Resource yourself with your spirit team. Wisdom lies in those who have gone before us. Through journeying with cacao or other plant medicines or with shamanic drumming you can connect to your animal spirit guides, who have so much deep knowledge to share; and with our ancestors and spirit guides, who are wise beyond this world. Find someone to lead you through a journey process. Once you have developed a relationship with your guides, they will always be there for you and will bring you answers based in Truth. Trust them to guide you.
I arrived late for opening circle (I am never late for anything), but luckily I came bearing gifts, so that smoothed my way. As we opened circle, I shared what was in my heart. Actually, that was all that was left of me. Just my heart. And it was perfect. I didn’t even have the strength to criticize myself afterwards. Note to self: heart-centered giving (with no expectations) weakens an Inner Critic. Good to know.
