I have found my voice again and the art of using it. – Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
I went on an expedition looking for my soul gifts and along the way I found my voice.
I love when I hear young parents tell their children, “use your words” or “use your voice.” Encouraging them to use their voice is so unlike what those of us of a certain age were expected do; we were to be seen and not heard. Pair that with being told to “not” do so many things, or that what we did wasn’t “correct,” paralyzed not just our voices but our creativity. It raised “good” girls and boys, who possibly rebelled in more covert ways (I know I did), but it did not build women and men who felt they had something of value to say. At least that was my experience….
So, it’s been a lifelong struggle for me to find my voice, use my words and express myself. And now, after much revealing and healing, I can’t stop sharing my story and what I’ve learned because I know it has a purpose now: to guide, support and heal others.
Now, you may be asking yourself, what needed healing and how did I do it? The two are inextricably intertwined.
- I had to question the beliefs (assumptions and opinions) I had formed about not just myself but life itself, and discover what was real and true.
- I had to let go of expectations and wanting to control the outcome, which opened me to possibility and accepting uncertainty.
- I had to acknowledge and face my fear of being shamed, blamed, unapproved of, rejected or disliked.
- I had let go of aspects of my identity, and the persona I had created, that weren’t truly me or who I wanted to be.
- I had to feel into what I truly cared about and valued, not what my family, friends or society thought I should value.
- I had to move from a fear-based, scarcity mindset to one of abundance, which meant embracing gratitude, humility, acceptance, forgiveness, letting go, compassion, and unconditional love.
- I had to understand the essence of who I truly am.
From the depths of this inner work–it’s true, you have to do the work, my friends–emerged my true, authentic voice. And much healing, some of which was super subtle requiring just a soft touch.
It was an excavation, almost an anthropological dig, and at the bottom of it was me! I’m not going to say that all that digging and uncovering was easy or not messy; it was, but the result has been absolutely life-changing, life-affirming and life-giving for me.
Know that the excavation is necessary. Know that you don’t have to do all the digging alone. And know that those of us, who have gone on the dig before you, can and will guide you with unconditional love, support and maybe even a bit of wisdom. It’s our mission to do so. Indiana Jones style :).
Your voice is welcome here. So, let me know how this makes you feel.
When my coach trainer once said to me, “Oh, you’re a word person,” as I asked for subtle clarification on something she was teaching, I was a bit bemused, until I realized that I actually am! I am a voracious reader, I have a Masters degree in Rhetoric and Professional Writing, I worked in the educational publishing industry for 18 years, and I write a blog, so you could say I am definitely a word person. I LOVE WORDS. Or more precisely, I love the right words.
