Come back to the stillness of the love within and know your heart light to be what it is—reliable and true—showing you the way even now, in peace and stillness. —Alana Fairchild
I arrived a few days early at Lake Atitlan, Guatemala to share some sacred medicine with a small courageous group before the cacao retreat. I found myself caught in a swirl of uncertainty and unpredictability with things not going quite as originally planned, trying my best to go with the flow, which at times felt more like a whirlpool. Resisting, even ever so slightly, and not giving myself completely over to the flow, can be exhausting. So, I simply allowed everything to be as it was.
Unpredictability can be Trickster energy, keeping us off balance, so we can free ourselves of attachment to old patterns, behaviors and desires. On the way to the Lake, I lost a hiking boot, the right foot to be exact. I’m not sure how; it just disappeared out of my backpack. The right side is the masculine aspect, our rational, logical, analytical, planning side. Hmmm, I’ve come to learn that everything in my world is a message. I had noticed on recent hikes that my feet were sore, which is always a sign that my boots were getting old and they also strangely felt too small. Time for new, more expansive boots on this path!
During the opening ceremony of the retreat, we were led in a guided meditation to look inside a tree and see what was there. Now, I am one of those folks who never seem able to follow the directions of a guided meditation because my guides always want to take me somewhere else, lol! This is why I let people know they can go wherever they are guided when I lead my meditations.
All I saw was a clear, blue ball. Hmmm, I thought, what does that signify? Is it the Lake? Or the ocean? Both symbolizing the deep feminine. It was almost like a globe, as if I was looking down on the world from above. In that moment, it wasn’t clear to me. I trusted it would make itself known.
There is a way forward on the path that needs to be seen by you. It will be helpful for you to have that clarity and that certainty. You might have already caught a glimpse of it but be doubting your vision or yourself….What you are feeling, deep within the passionate love of your heart light, is true. It is real. You are being led into it by the progress of life itself. —Alana Fairchild
Later that day, I went to the Lake to sit by the water and come into relationship with its energy, which is very powerful and transformational. I decided to sit on a stone wall and because it was uneven, lay my turquoise and cream-colored (so me), Turkish towel on the wall.
The next morning as I was getting ready to go to the Lake for a morning ritual with the retreat group, I realized I had left my towel on the wall. So, at 6:45am I made my way to the wall hoping it was still there. It wasn’t, but in its place was a clear, pale blue marble with a green, blue and white line through it. I started to laugh as it was exactly what I had seen in the guided meditation! A magic marble in exchange for my “so me” towel. More trickster energy. The universe certainly has a sense of humor. Perhaps it was saying in that moment, “What part of ‘you’ do you need to let go of to allow yourself to receive the magic?”
During the morning ritual, we were given flowers to offer to the Lake. I held one in the palm of my hand and closed my eyes to meditate. When I opened them, there on my thumb was a tiny, red dragonfly, a symbol of transformation and magic, which has been guiding me for 2 years now. It first revealed itself to me on a sacred mushroom journey in Huautla de Jimenez, MX and continued to show up in “real life” on my nomadic travels. This particular “real one” rested so long on my hand that a soul sister was able to capture a gorgeous picture. The dragonfly for me also symbolized flying around sharing my work on my travels and landing every so often in magical and sacred sanctuaries to restore my energy. More on that later….
I wove the story about the magic marble into the cacao ceremony I led later that day, which was entitled the Alchemy of Grief and Grace, sharing how we need to grieve our losses to open to grace. The lost towel and marble became symbols of loss and possibility. Many of us were grieving the passing of Keith Wilson, the founder of Keith’s Cacao and our teacher. We remembered him with love; cried and laughed and grieved; and felt his loving spirit with us because we allowed ourselves to feel it all. We realized that many of us, as Cacao Practitioners, were being asked to step into new possibilities of carrying Keith’s vision and mission forward. One of his sayings was “Bring on your magic!”
I took the magic marble everywhere with me that week and bought a leather medicine pouch just for it. When I held it, it felt like I held the world in the palm of my hand; the world was literally at my fingertips. And, as one retreat participant shared, the world is inside me. My inner world reflects my outer world. Another shared it was like a crystal ball, so I could see into the future. So many powerful messages in such a tiny magical ball.
At another beautiful cacao ceremony in a private garden where Keith is interred, there was an altar honoring him with flowers and a photo. As I sat in front of the altar, I realized his clear blue eyes, which always saw the magic, reminded me of my blue marble. Perhaps Keith in his own magical ways was asking me to look at the world with the eyes of magic and possibility, and allow myself to trust again.
Life operates according to a genius that is beyond a linear approach. It is to be trusted rather than understood….You do not have to also create or control the terrain, nor determine the map for the journey. You simply need to take each step that presents itself to you in each moment.” —Alana Fairchild
In the past, with the guidance and support of cacao, I had come to see the world as magical and the messages, guidance and lessons were so clear; and yet in the last year, as I was struggling with health issues and not able to find true sanctuary, that vision and way of perceiving diminished. I had lost my way and the ability to see the magic. Perhaps it was time to see that way again, to open my eyes and follow my “heart light.”
I am still remembering how to see and trust that way again; it really is like looking at the world with the eyes of a child, filtered and enhanced by the wisdom of life experience. Wise and yet innocent at the same time. I am returning to trusting completely in the path laid out by life and the universe. I am coming back to the “stillness of love”, trusting my “heart light” is showing me the way and taking the step presented in each moment.
As I embrace the message of dragonfly medicine, I find myself about to fly off again. I need to leave my sacred sanctuary in Northern California for the summer and have been invited by my soul family in Southern California to come there. So, I am accepting the invitation and following my heart light. I trust that it knows….
As you sit with what I have shared, you may want to reflect on these questions: How are you perceiving your world? What’s lighting your path? What’s the next step your heart light wants you to take?
May we open to the magic that is always there for us!
©Soulscape Coaching LLC