The Cacao Journals: Wisdom & Guidance from the Drum

Shamanic journeying is the inner art of traveling to the ‘invisible worlds’ beyond ordinary reality to retrieve information for change in any area of your life–from spirituality and health to work and relationships. – Sandra Ingerman

Journeying to the drum for others is a beautifully intimate experience where I am entrusted with a vital question to which someone wants an answer that they simply cannot access on their own. And it brings me such joy to share this work.

First we frame the question, so that it can be received by my guides in such a way that their answer offers valuable wisdom and guidance. The question is always stated in the present tense in shamanic journeying and often takes the form of a “What, Where, or How” question. “Why” questions are not recommended as the “Why” of anything can be so complex, as are questions about the future.

I’d like to share a journey that I experienced on behalf of someone whose question was, “What am I to focus on in my work?” I knew nothing about this person other than his full name and where he lived. I journeyed to meet (and merge with) my Power Animal, the Jaguar, and she took me on a lovely journey emerging out of a dark underwater cavern into a night sky full of stars and a landscape lit by a full moon. We ran towards and through a forest of evergreen trees, and found ourselves at the edge of a lake flooded with the light of the full moon.

My Jaguar entered the water and began swimming across the lake toward a fire we could see on the other side. She dove below the surface of the water and began walking across the sandy bottom. I said, “Wait, you can’t do that!” And she answered, “In this world, I can do anything.” Note to self: in the Lower and Upper Worlds, anything is possible.

She’s a shapeshifter, a real trickster, haunts dreams, sees the unseen – Katalin Koda

We surfaced and began walking toward the fire, which was sending sparks up into the night sky. Surrounding the fire were four people. I asked my Jaguar who they were and she responded with, “They are engineers.” I immediately questioned this and said to myself, “I can’t share that! What if it’s totally off base?” I had to let go of my rational mind and just trust that what I was receiving had some purpose and meaning. I followed my first question with another, “What are these engineers building?” Her response rocked me: “A gateway.” How was I going to share that?

Up a slope behind the fire was a beautiful, log-cabin lodge full of luminous light. Then suddenly I was being called back by the drum and had to return from the journey.

When I returned I shared what I had received, worried somehow that it would not make sense to the person for whom I was journeying. The language of journeys is always symbolic and sometimes quite literal, and often a mix of both. I began by sharing the journey and my interpretation of the symbols of the full moon, the lake, the fire and the log cabin full of light.

The full moon often symbolizes the feminine, so it seemed to be telling him that he needed to be in touch with and guided by his feminine wisdom in his work. Water is the deep feminine, our intuitive guidance system, so the message was that he needed to dive deep into his intuition and walk there comfortably until he could surface with deeper knowledge.

The fire is a masculine symbol symbolizing creativity and life force energy, and the sparks showed that whatever was being created by the fire had some juice! The log cabin up the hill full of light was a beacon of hope and inspiration.

When I shared the journey and my interpretation, the silence was deafening. I had to ask, “Does this resonate with you?” because I couldn’t tell.

This is what he shared: “Nicole, I just returned from a business trip to New York where I had a meeting with four key engineers, who were arguing about one of our more innovative, but not main products.” I began to breathe more easily when I heard the words, “four engineers”.

He continued: “They could not agree about the product and were thinking about shelving it. Normally, in these meetings I play a certain role, but this time I found myself coming from a different place and being an advocate for this product because my intuition was telling me it was a game changer, would revolutionize the industry and that we needed to patent it because it was so innovative.”

I asked with curiosity, “What kind of product is it?” He responded, “In our world, it would be considered a ‘gateway’ product.” He beamed from ear to ear, having just had his intuition validated. He knew with such clarity what he was meant to focus on in his work. I was stunned, amazed and overjoyed.

This work is powerful. I’d be delighted to journey for you if you have a question you are struggling to answer about your work, life, or relationship. I can do this work in person or remotely, so you can live anywhere and receive this wisdom and guidance.

All you need to is connect with me here: nicole@soulscapecoaching.com.

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

The Cacao Journals: Journeying with the Drum

Pray with me before we start, we’ll journey deep into your heart, invoking trance, awake the soul, We drum as one, until you’re whole. – Barbara Meiklejohn-Free & Flavia Kate Peters

My first journeys were with ceremonial cacao, and as I deepened into those journeys and encountered my spirit animal, the black Jaguar, again and again, I found myself becoming curious about shamanism and shamanic journeying with the drum. What I was most curious about was finding out who my Power Spirit Animal really was….

Your Power Animal, or any spirit animal for that matter, always chooses you; you don’t get to choose it. So, while I knew that the Jaguar was one of my  many spirit animals, who bring the medicine we need in that moment, I wasn’t sure if it was my Power Spirit Animal.

At a shamanic workshop, I learned how to journey with the drum to reconnect with my Power Animal and then my Higher Guide or Teacher. Once I had successfully reconnected with both I was then able to journey and ask questions to which I wanted answers, and I also could journey to my guides on another’s behalf, receive and bring back an answer for a vital question in their life that they had been struggling to answer.

The voice of the drum is a spirit thing. – Mickey Hart

Not only did I confirm that the black Jaguar was my Power Animal–believe me I let go of any attachment to that outcome–I also met my Teacher for the first time. Let me share a bit of each journey with you.

In my Power Animal journey, I went to my place of entry into the Lower World, which is always a real place such as a hollowed out tree or cave or  contained body of water like a lake or pond, and journeyed on the beat of the drum to meet my Power Animal.

When I arrived at an underwater cavern, I looked up and saw bats. Really, I thought? My Power Animal is a bat? Strangely I was open to it because I knew that the bat in shamanic cultures symbolizes rebirth and transformation, which is so much of what my work is about. And then I sensed something behind me and heard a swishing noise. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big black cat’s tail going back and forth on the cavern floor. I turned and the black Jaguar was there. Her sense of humor and playfulness have been such a delight every time I journey with her.

My journey to meet my Teacher was stunningly beautiful. When we journey to the Upper World, it is via a tree, a staircase, the smoke of a fire, anything real that we have experienced in life that takes us upwards. I emerged into a beautiful garden and my Teacher was sitting on a bench near a Chinese pagoda. He had a long white beard and was wearing a white robe, which I thought a bit cliché, but again, who I am to decide? He has been the most wonderful, kind and gentle master.

Both were powerful, affirming journeys for me, and my journeys with my guides since them have been nothing short of profound. My questions are always answered more deeply than I thought possible. I now offer group and private 1:1 journeys as a way for you to reconnect with and develop a relationship your guides, who can guide, problem solve and heal you on this sometimes messy, Middle World (Earth) journey.

In my next blog post, I’ll share a few almost unbelievable experiences I’ve had journeying on behalf of my clients. I offer these both as private in-person sessions and as virtual sessions (we talk on the phone about your question, I journey offline, and then I share what I’ve received with you on the phone or via video conference so we can record it). The messages are always so spot on. Come journey with me….

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching LLC

The Cacao Journals: Loving Kindness

Loving kindness and compassion are the basis for wise, powerful, sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce actions that can really make a difference–in our own lives and those of others. ~ Sharon Salzberg

As I write this from my 91-year-old mother’s palliative care room in Canada, where she is resting before she passes from this world, I am at her bedside, giving her the only medicine I can give: the light of loving kindness. I hold her in my heart radiating healing light, so she may be free of suffering and pain.

 This post is in dedication to my Mom, Trudy, who has lived through so much, and, despite all that she has endured, has always chosen the path of goodness and selflessness.

And I am at peace. How am I at peace as I face the death of my dear mother? I am in that place because of the support I have from my meditation practice, my cacao journeys, and the deep inner work that has over time allowed me to integrate and then embody the lessons from both practices (at least some of the time :)). This too has been a journey, an ever deepening one.

What brings me peace is knowing that I am loved, that I am not alone, and that I have access to sources of infinite love, wisdom and guidance. Much of this comes to me through my spirit guides, who are always guiding me, nudging me, and bringing me messages and good medicine.

If you read my first cacao journal entry, you’ll remember one of my spirit animal guides, the white swan, which symbolizes inner grace, purity and tranquility. She inspired me to begin my cacao journey and visited me in ceremony to share her sacred power. In the Lakota tradition, the swan acts as a messenger of faith. In ancient Greece, the swan was thought to sing a sweet and beautiful song as people died. The swan is a powerful and sacred totem among many cultures and demonstrates the intricate balance of living in three elemental realms–on the earth, which grounds her; on the water, which allows her access to her intuitive and emotional depths; and in the air, where she sees life with an expansive and all-encompassing view. All she embodies is what I aspire to be.

In cacao ceremony, I call in the four elements–fire, earth, water and air–and the four directions–east, south, west and north–as well as our Spirit Animals, Ancestors and Star People to guide us through our journey and to support us when we leave our cacao cocoons so we can integrate their guidance and wisdom into our daily lives.

Fire is life force creative energy; Earth is grounding energy; Water is emotional, intuitive energy; and Air is the energy of insight and clarity. When we balance these elemental energies within us, we live harmoniously in alignment with who we truly are. Our spirit guides bring us messages that tell us where we are out of balance energetically and what “medicine” will heal us.

The Jaguar and the Serpent, long associated with cacao and sacred Mayan ritual, have shared their guidance with me and brought me medicine in many of my journeys with cacao. I immediately felt drawn to the Jaguar, and, me being curious and just a little bit cheeky, asked if I could run with her during one journey; she graciously allowed me to shape shift into her form and run as her. As you can imagine, it was incredible to feel her (and my) raw power, supple elegance, and fierce sense of knowing. I gave myself over to it fully. It was like being one of the Na’vi in Avatar, the movie, only this was a big cat and I was her…. I now know what feline feminine power feels like and it brings me great strength.  I know all of this sounds terribly farfetched, and I can’t explain the how or the why; what I have is faith in is that she brought me what I needed in that moment.

The Jaguar came to me many, many more times in ceremony, sometimes curling up against me and purring; other times pacing around me in circles, advising me to “watch, wait and act with power” or to “be patient and all will reveal itself.”  She became part of my spirit animal pack and now watches over me and even through me. There are times, especially when I hold ceremony, that I feel as though I am looking through her eyes. I see the world with a fiercer compassion than before…. And this brings me strength and inner peace.

The Serpent has been more elusive, as you would suspect, only revealing itself a few times and transmitting its life force knowledge by “feeding” knowledge to me, telling me to “Let go of this world, the ways of this world, and be the way.” Its messages are direct and unequivocal, including “Heal myself and then others.” And when a Serpent tells you what to go do, you do it….

The messages and wisdom of our spirit guides are undeniably clear, and this knowledge is available and accessible to us all. When we recognize, accept and integrate their medicine, we are more balanced, which allows us to be at peace when life hits us hard. And it is from that place that we can access our inner light, feel fierce compassion and send loving kindness to ourselves and then to others. It is good medicine.

So, I am sending loving kindness to my Mom to ease her suffering and pain, and, inspired by the white swan, I will sing a sweet and beautiful song to her as she leaves this world. I love you, Mom.

My Mom 4 weeks ago enjoying her favorites: coffee and a sweet pastry

I share this loving kindness meditation, so you may find peace, harmony and balance in your life, and send loving kindness out to your loved ones, who are in need.

May I be safe from harm.
May I be happy just as I am.
May I be peaceful with whatever is happening.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I care for myself in this ever-changing world graciously, joyously.
~ from the CMind, the center for Contemplative Mind in Society

Much love & light,

Nicole

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC

The Cacao Journals: Rescue Remedy for the Soul

Final and complete healing will come from within, from the Soul itself, which radiates harmony throughout the personality when allowed to do so. – Dr. Bach, maker of Rescue Remedy

I have come to call cacao ceremony, Rescue Remedy for the Soul, because it naturally and gently heals us from the inside out. Every cacao ceremony brings you just what you need in that moment. There’s no amount of planning that will make your journey what you think it should be; it will just be…. One will bust you wide open; another will fill you with light; others will allow you access to deep wisdom. An infinite variety of experiences are available, and they are always illuminating.

The one thing you can do is set an intention for ceremony. Before each ceremony, I always check in to see where I need guidance or healing and set my intention based on that. Almost always, I receive what I ask for, and when I haven’t it’s only because Spirit has decided She has something even better for me or I’m so caught up in my head that nothing much can get in. Even then, despite my hard headedness (if I’m in my head, then I can’t fully be in my heart, can I?), She still finds a way to deliver a gentle message and lesson, which usually is about “letting go.”

In rereading my journals–wow, that was a trip unto itself–I realized just how much Spirit has not only healed me through cacao, but has transmitted knowledge that I am being called to share with you. And I have little say in this; the more I resist, the more She persists. In a shamanic journeying session (without cacao) that I participated in awhile back, my spirit animal guide, the Jaguar, told me, “Everything cacao.” I laughed about it when I shared it in circle. And believe me, I tried to ignore it, but it has become abundantly clear that I am a cacao guide who coaches, rather than a coach who does cacao ceremony every so often.

Spirit has brought me not just deep, meaningful messages in ceremony, but paths to follow that allow my soul to fully emerge. I must admit that I haven’t always followed her wise counsel as sometimes She has asked me to do something I didn’t feel would be fully embraced by others (at least not yet) or I didn’t feel equipped to make happen like a documentary film about cacao ceremony. And yet, here I am, just a bit farther down the road, bringing those messages to you…. (By the way, if anyone knows a documentary film maker who might want to do this, just let me know. I have a proposal all ready to go :)).

Cacao enabled me to answer the question of “Who (or What) am I?” I brought this particular intention into ceremony wanting to understand my gifts, the ones I am meant to bring to the world. I was tired of not knowing and admitted to myself that “I do not know,” not just this, but so much about the mystery of life. I felt very alone and humble as I entered that ceremony a few years ago.

Almost immediately, I felt myself glowing, my light filled the loft. I realized that I was very much not alone, that I was surrounded by love and my spirit guides and that they are always with me and they know. I felt such a rush of bliss, energy, love, truth, joy and purity that I cried with joy. At the close of ceremony, I captured these powerful words in my journal: “I am without fear; I am luminous; I am.” Right now, I am feeling very vulnerable sharing these words with you. And, at the same time, I’m feeling that you may need to hear them for your own healing.

We are all meant to come to self-realization on our own path, and yet we cannot do it wholly on our own; we need assistance and guidance. That assistance comes in the form of some kind of structure (a practice of some sort), which enables a depth of discovery (being willing to question and receive guidance), which leads to the integration of the lessons (deeply understanding and accepting the guidance), allowing for true embodiment. Cacao ceremony was my deep practice.

So, what is embodiment? It’s living in full integrity. It means that what you practice is what you do. When you leave that yoga class or meditation session or cacao ceremony, the lessons come with you; you don’t get to leave them on the mat or in your cacao cocoon. It means breaking old habituated behaviors that keep us out of alignment with our true selves and allowing new habits to form that heal and fully support us.

Too often, we try a little of this and a little of that, looking for the practice that will feel good to us, when the practice that deconstructs us, that challenges us, and makes us the most uncomfortable is the one that will transform and heal. Or we simply don’t realize that going deep is absolutely necessary to our healing. Or we believe “we’re good” and we don’t have anything that needs healing. We’ve become so disconnected from our feelings and who we are, that we think we know. But we really don’t; we have to learn to feel our way through, literally.

At the end of the day, which is the beginning of your life, you’ve got to do the work. It’s not always all love and light and cacao bliss, but if you allow yourself to open your heart, the light will find you, and fill you, and heal your dark parts until your own light shines radiantly through. I promise, you will glow.

And as this light fills you with its radiance, you will find you depend less and less on those old habits that are not fulfilling you and embrace the new habits that heal your soul and spirit. They are the rescue remedy.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

Accept or decline the mission

You may think you have no resistance to finding your purpose, but if that were true you would probably already know it. – Tim Kelley

IMG_1545Finding our purpose in life can be terrifying and sometimes perplexing. I know. As I was first exploring mine, I received a guided message saying I should make a documentary about ceremonial cacao. It came as a total surprise.

While I know a little something about cacao ceremony and am fascinated by the history of cacao, I know absolutely nothing about making a documentary. I, being the “doer” that I am, starting wondering how I could fulfill this “mission.”

My sister has an MFA, has taught film production and now heads the Media Studies program at a community college, and made a documentary film (a very long time ago), so I thought, she can help me! I even took the step of approaching her and she was mildly enthusiastic (she’s Canadian and still lives in Canada, so maybe I should have taken that mild enthusiasm more seriously :)).

Anyway, I soon realized that I actually didn’t want the responsibility of making a documentary. There are far better, more qualified people who could do it, and I had an inkling that my path lay elsewhere. It would have been a fun diversion, but documentaries need to be passion projects, they can take forever to be realized, and I just didn’t have quite enough passion or time.

Plus, to be honest, the thought of traipsing through the rain forest looking for indigenous shamans; the depth of relationship needed to gain their trust, so they would allow us to film them; and the time required to do this away from home and my husband, scared me. It was so far away from my current experience and I felt it put things I valued at risk.

I know now, and I even knew then, that what our soul wants for us is not always on the easy path. Could I actually say, “no,” to this?

So, I asked myself, why did Spirit give this to me? And then I just happened upon Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, in which she reveals that “inspiration will always try its best to work with you–but if you are not ready or available, it may indeed choose to leave you and to search for a different human collaborator.” So, I was off the hook…. I could leave this for someone else to take on as their mission and continue to look for my soul’s true purpose. Which is exactly what I did.

Just recently, not that I was looking for further confirmation, I read Tim Kelley’s True Purpose: 12 Strategies for Discovering the Difference You Are Meant to Make, in which he shares that “you can accept [your mission] or decline it” and “your soul can give you a new instruction that is at a higher level.” That’s what keeps happening to Tim, and that’s exactly what happened to me. I declined one mission only to have another one be revealed to me, one that fully supported what he calls my “blessing,” or what I like to refer to as my gifts, the things for which I am a “catalyst, a facilitator of some process.”

The reason that I like to talk about being on your “soul’s path” is that, while our purpose and gifts are foundational, our mission or “highest level instruction” continues to evolve and grow, building on that foundation. Our soul’s path is an unfolding, one which is revealed to us as we walk forward with trust.

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Copyright ©2016 Soulscape Coaching.