intention

Enhanced Cacao Journals: Bad Trip or Hard Journey?

~ Nicole Gnutzman

Every once in a while someone asks about “bad trips” or shares they have experienced one in the past–always without a guide and usually in a discordant environment–and is a bit fearful of a deep journey. I always share that I personally don’t believe in bad trips, only in bad preparation and intention.

The first rule for a safe journey (I prefer that word over trip, which has a certain connotation) is that set and setting and the sacred matter. Second, sitting with an experienced guide matters. Third, having an inward, closed-eye journey with curated music, matters. Fourth, the medicine you take matters. Fifth, having an intention matters. And lastly, knowing (and using) the empowering techniques that can support you when it gets hard matters.

Journeys are not meant to be easy. Sorry, if you’re looking for a quick fix. When held as a sacred, inward journey, they illuminate, clarify, release, resolve and heal. When a client has done the work to prepare, is open and curious, and comes with a pure intention, the journey can be joyful, healing and profound. Deep journeys allow for cathartic release, radical clarity and deep healing, all of which are necessary and can be a bit messy. When held as sacred and safe, with an experienced guide, the journey may be hard, but it will never be bad.

Let’s go a bit deeper on each requirement for a positive, healing journey and outcomes.

Set and Setting

Michael Pollan in his book, How to Change Your Mind, echoes and emphasizes the importance of set and setting, which other researchers and writers before and since have called out as critical to a positive healing outcome. Set means mindset. How you go into the journey with your mind matters. Are you curious and open or skeptical and closed? You must be able to suspend your disbelief and see the experience with eyes of wonder, not cynicism. Have you done research to inform yourself and ease your mind with creating unrealistic expectations? Remember you will receive what you need not what you want to what someone else has experienced. Has your guide provided an orientation session to answer questions and share how they hold the space, so your mind can rest? The mind is powerful and wants to control the experience and get its own way, but it will only get in the way. Prepare yourself, so it won’t. And if it still does, then there’s more work to do….

Setting is about comfort, feeling safe physically and being held in the sacred. Is the setting warm, inviting and comfortable? Do you feel safe there? Is it private? Are you away from distractions and interruptions? Do you have everything you need: extra blankets, water, eye mask, comfort items? Your journey space should feel like a retreat from the world. Sacred space feels different; it’s as if you have crossed a threshold and entered another world where the energy feels clear and clean and safe. You feel held in the sacred. To support that feeling, your guide may create an altar designating and honoring sacred space and clear the space energetically. Set, setting and the sacred matter.

A Guided Journey

Going on a journey alone, even if you have sat with a guide before, is not recommended unless you are very experienced or are a guide yourself. A deep journey is not an out-in-nature or at-a-concert or with-friends-at-a-party experience; it is an inward-looking experience, which may be and feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable. It is a new, unknown, inner terrain to be explored, not feared.

Ultimately, a guide is not just there to make you feel comfortable; they are there to hold the space, so you can go deep safely. If they have embodied wisdom, deep listening skills and compassion (you will feel it), trust that your guide knows this world well. This deep embodied presence only comes from deep self-healing, direct experience and supporting clients through their own.

I hold space so safely that I have even had former clients share that they called me in virtually and energetically to be “with” them on a journey where I was not present, and in which they felt fearful. One is a psychotherapist and was on a solo journey without a guide and thought he was “dying” (thankfully only metaphorically); and the other was in a large group experience, but had been given such powerful medicine, he lost all sense of himself. My “presence” was able to support both of them during their hard journey. A guide with whom you feel safe matters.

Inward Journey

Clinical studies have proven that positive and sustained healing and therapeutic outcomes are directly related to two conditions for the journey: 1) a closed eye experience, and 2) curated music with a journey arc.

A deep, inward journey with eyes closed allows for interoception–where you have access to and awareness of your inner state of being. Studies reveal that interoception may be deeply connected to consciousness. It’s the ultimate mind-body reconnection. A psychedelic journey may even be able to resolve interoceptive imbalances such as anxiety. An eyes open experience–exteroception–does not allow for this awareness as it is a different form of perception acting on different brain receptors. Closing your eyes matters deeply.

Music on your journey is also critical to the experience and not just any music. An inward journey has an arc–a descent as obstacles are faced and emotions are felt and released, and then an emergence from the depths with new wisdom and insight–and the music follows this arc deliberately. It echoes the mythological hero’s journey as described by Joseph Campbell. The music that is most supportive is sacred–indigenous songs and native instruments, chanting and mantra, not heavy metal or electronica.

Most clients love my music playlists and every once in a while one doesn’t like a particular song. I share that they aren’t meant to “like” the songs; the music has a purpose beyond their own preferences and there may a deeper message in them not liking it. If they are focused on the music or taken out of their journey because of it, then their awareness isn’t on their inward journey and they may be avoiding going deeper. I gently suggest they bring their awareness back to the journey. An inward focus and music matter.

The Medicine

Not every sacred medicine is the same. With psilocybin, like other earth and plant medicines, there are strains or varieties. Some strains are great for a purely psychedelic experience and good for recreational, eyes open experiences; others are good for micro-dosing; and some are more embodied, which is perfect to support emotional release, energy clearing and healing outcomes. Some strains are super powerful and can support breakthrough experiences, which should only be shared with more experienced clients, who are familiar with inner work and integration. The strain matters. Dosage matters. The consciousness of the growers matters. The wrong medicine in the wrong context and with the wrong dosage is how “bad” trips came to be labeled as such. The medicine matters.

Intention Setting

Entering a journey experience without an intention is like saying “bring everything you have,” which can simply be overwhelming or tells the medicine you aren’t serious about healing and holding the experience as sacred. The medicine is wise and knows your underlying intention. If all you are looking for is an experience, then perhaps a healing journey is not for you.

If you are serious and true, it’s best to have a focused intention that asks to release whatever is in the way of healing and to receive what you want to live into. This focus acts as a map or a guidepost and allows you to more fully receive, understand and integrate the message. Now, as I’ve shared before, the medicine brings you what you most need, not necessarily what you want, which can be two very different things. While it’s important to have an intention as it provides direction and focus, it’s equally as important to let go of the expectation of how it shows up or of the outcomes. Letting go of expectation helps in avoiding disappointment. Intention truly matters.

Empowerment Techniques

In a previous post, I shared that plant medicine has a consciousness and is trying to find a way to communicate with you. A journey does not have to be a passive experience where you only receive; it can be an active conversation that empowers you in your own healing.

If the messages are coming in too fast, then ask the medicine to slow down. If the messages are coming in a form you cannot understand or are too dark, then say, “I want to receive the message, can you bring it in another form?” It’s almost like changing a TV channel; it’s pretty amazing how responsive the medicine is. And you can always open your eyes to pause the inward journey (like a commercial break). The world will look pretty normal once you open your eyes. But remember, the healing outcomes come from looking inside. Empowered communication matters.

A healing journey requires being courageous and brave; open and willing; curious, engaged and empowered. Your journey may be deep, even a bit dark, and most certainly hard, but it never has to be a bad trip if you hold it and perceive it as safe and sacred. If you truly want to change or open your mind, or at least your perception, that starts even before the journey begins….

©Soulscape Coaching LLC

The Cacao Journals: The Five Elements

~ nicole

If you even have a little mastery over the five elements within you, life will happen the way you want it to. – Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

The five elements are energies, not things. – Stefan Emunds, visionary author

When I began working with cacao several years ago, I created an altar for my personal cacao medicine journeys in the loft of our cabin in the redwoods. Enveloped in nature and feeling called to honor it, I was drawn to the elements: earth, water, air, fire and spirit/ether. Each direction of the altar represented an element and I found, purchased or made sacred treasures (crystals and stones, shells and a bowl of water, feathers, candles, a mala and medicine pouch) to honor them. In creating my altar with intention, love and beauty, I honored the elements and myself; it was nourishing, healing and exquisite.

In indigenous cultures, the elements are what everything in the universe is made of; they are all of creation; they are the circle of life. In yoga teachings, the elements help us understand the laws of nature and higher awareness. In Ayurveda, the elements are energies within the body-mind and are guides for our health. In paganism, we are made of all elements: earth our bodies; water our blood; air our breath; fire our spirit. In each of these traditions, when the elements are in balance life force flows positively.

In each of my ceremonies, I call in the elements as representations of the energies and qualities that, when in balance, make us whole and luminous. I created my own form for this, a universal honoring as I call in

  • Earth as Abundance, Nourishment, Love & Compassion
  • Water as Intuition, Flow & Messages from our Dreams and Soul
  • Air as Clarity, Illumination, Inspiration & Vision
  • Fire as Transformation, Life Force Energy & Creativity

The elements can also be identified as feminine and masculine aspects of ourselves: Earth and Water as the feminine; Air and Fire as the masculine. When they are in balanced relationship, we have integrated our masculine and feminine.

We are all whole and luminous in our deepest self and soul; our true purpose is to remember. Remembering comes when we give ourselves the space to drop into the ground of our being, that place of stillness and silence deep inside. No thought lays in wait here to hijack us, no emotion to be triggered, nothing to distract us. To find this place, we have to give ourselves over to it. Not easy at first, but it gets easier with practice; the mere act of intention, helps us to get there.

Ceremony, when done with intention, is the practice of giving ourselves over to the stillness, the silence where our wholeness resides. As Vanda Marlow, a wise soul sister, coach and facilitator, shared during her Soul Journey retreat at the Modern Elder Academy, “Ceremony is the intentional doorway into a wider world, a way to still oneself, the mind, and drop deeper into self. It all starts with a seed of intention.”

Ceremony drops us into this space, allowing us to honor each part, aspect and energy of ourselves and drop into the space of remembering who we truly are. Through this honoring, acceptance and integration, we walk in the world in our wholeness; we embody its truth.

In future blog posts (interspersed with other topics), I’ll be sharing more about each of the elements. I also have plans to honor them in a series of day retreats here in Northern California over the coming months and again next year in a week-long retreat to Guatemala. I’d be honored if you joined me in some way even if it just means reading my posts…..

Copyright ©2019 Soulscape Coaching LLC

The Cacao Journals: Intention & the Soul of the Universe

~ nicole

You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny. – Upanishads

With the new year almost upon us, intention setting is everywhere. Intentions are the new resolutions. Resolutions tend to come with a state of doing: striving, wanting, and forcing. Intentions come with a state of being: listening deeply, allowing clarity to arise and making conscious choices. Sometimes we mix the two and can make a right mess of it, thinking our way into an intention, forcing the outcome, and being terribly disappointed. Familiar past terrain for me.

Setting an intention that comes from the ground of our being (the place that connects head and heart) is the first key to creating what we desire. A beautiful way to set mindful and heartful intentions is to allow them to arise into our awareness from a place of stillness and silence.

A few weeks ago, I was meditating and an intention arose into my awareness. It came out of (almost) nowhere and surprised me. It told me that I was to attend a retreat I had first learned about in the spring from a friend. She had attended a beta test of a new program at a retreat center just south of Todos Santos, Baja MX and thought the program would be perfect for me. She also knew how much I loved Todos Santos, where I have vacationed many times.

I was intrigued and filed it away, not quite dismissing it but not knowing when or how I would be able to attend. During that meditation, it popped back into my awareness with such crystal clarity. My intention setting in the past tended to be less specific, more of a suggestion than an intention. In this case, my intention was glaringly specific and I declared it out loud: “I am going to the retreat. I don’t know how or when, but I am going.” Just saying it felt powerful. I let go without expectation or attachment, trusting that the universe would conspire on my behalf.

The following Sunday, I received an email from an online community board, of which I am a member, sharing that the retreat center was offering a scholarship for an upcoming two-week immersive retreat, but we had to apply online by Monday. I was astounded, overjoyed and inspired. I jumped on it! I submitted my application and the next day was contacted by one of the facilitators, who had attended one of my cacao medicine journeys and recognized my name. What are the chances of that?

At the end of the week, I found out that I was accepted for a full scholarship. It’s amazing when we get clear and ask, what we can manifest…. I have to admit that my manifestation powers are not always exactly “powerful.” When I am clear, they are. When I have no expectations of when or how what I am wanting to manifest shows up, they are. When I am unattached to outcome, they are.

This New Year’s, or better yet whenever you can, take a moment to sit in silence and allow a desired intention to come into your awareness. What arises may seem to come out of nowhere, but trust it. Give it power and strength by declaring it and then let it go. Have faith that it will come. Watch for the signs and act on them when you need to. Tell me when it shows up. I would so love to hear from you….

For the holidays, I picked up a few books from the library to read while snuggled up by the fire. One of them was The Alchemist, which even though I read it many years ago, I felt compelled to reread. I leave you with two quotes from the book that seem designed just for this post:

“[W]hen you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth…. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”

“[T]ry to make your own decisions…. don’t forget the language of the omens. And, above all, don’t forget to follow your Personal Legend through to its conclusion.”

On New Year’s Eve from 6:00-7:30pm join me at Harmonia in Sausalito or on January 5th at Soulstice Mind + Body Spa to allow your intention for the new year to emerge with the assistance of cacao medicine. To practice your manifestation powers, set an intention to come to my You are Luminous retreat, February 16-23 at Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. Just two spots left.

Many blessings and much joy to you this holiday season!

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching.


The Cacao Journals: The Paradox of Surrender

~ nicole ~ 4 Comments
The important thing is to be able at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become. – Charles Dubois

Photo by Laura Reoch of September-Days Photography.

You may have noticed that I took a little break from my blog. I’ve been focusing on other writing projects and designing classes to teach Cacao Ceremony both as a personal practice and for group offerings. I’d been asked many times to teach and always resisted it for various reasons (all of them quite lame). When I recently decided to commit to “everything cacao,” which was a message I received on a drum journey over two years ago, it made perfect sense to surrender to this too….

The beautiful thing about surrender is that when you finally do, that’s when things actually show up. Giving up the struggle allows the struggle to end. It’s so simple and obvious, and yet so hard for us to do. Surrender is not giving up or retreating; it’s both release and commitment, letting go and moving toward. It’s truly a paradox.

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back…. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elemental truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. – W.H. Murray

Releasing and letting go means being honest with yourself about what’s not moving with ease and flow in your life, work or relationship. It shouldn’t have to be so hard. I’m declaring that one out loud. If we aren’t fully in alignment with who we are,  haven’t fully embraced our gifts, and aren’t fully reading, accepting and acting on the signs that spirit brings us, then, life is hard.

What do I mean by fully? Let me start by defining what it doesn’t mean; it’s not partially or somewhat or sort of. That’s neither fully in nor fully out. To put it bluntly, it’s not half-assed, not that I have anything against donkeys; they’re actually kind of cute, but rather stubborn. Fully means completely.

Life feels hard because we live in a state of resistance, ashamed of or not fully embracing our uniqueness, and not willing to wave our “freak flag high” (I borrowed that phrase from a friend who does it every day). When you’re being a donkey instead of a unicorn, it’s soul destroying.

Commitment and moving toward something means allowing for its unfolding: encouraging, revealing and responding to something in stages at the appropriate moment. Some cynics and critics claim “unfolding” is too passive and even wishful thinking. I beg to differ. An unfolding requires active engagement. A flower just doesn’t sit there and wait for the grand unfolding to happen; it grows up and out, responding to cues from the sun, the rain and the moon. It is engaged in its own glorious unfolding.

The process of unfolding is always evolving and changing. Instead of waiting for a magical unfolding or grasping at and forcing the unfolding, both of which are full of internal and external struggle (I can feel the tearing), we must find ways to be adaptable and resilient, weathering the elements, but first we have to give up the struggle. If we don’t let go, the struggle tears us apart.

I had been resisting the “everything cacao” message I received. While cacao was a big, powerful and beautiful part of my work, it was not my “everything.” Without that commitment, my work was unfocused, leaving me exhausted and feeling torn apart. I decided to give up the struggle and fully embrace and commit to cacao as my everything. I still don’t quite know where it’s going to take me or how it will all unfold, but I feel lighter and life doesn’t feel so hard. I’m following the signs that are showing up with full attention and intention. I decided to be a unicorn. What’s your everything?

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

The Cacao Journals: Holding space

~ nicole
The blessing of letting go is creating and holding sacred space for healing. – Debra L. Reble

In my own personal work with cacao, I found this to be true, that it was in letting go of my mind, my need to be in control, and my disbelief that I created sacred space (an emptiness) within that held me, so I could begin to heal and feel whole.

This is what holding sacred space is:  creating a safe receptacle or container where things can fall apart, disintegrate, and dissolve, and then come back together again more whole than before.

When I hold sacred space in group ceremony, the process is similar. While each participant must create their own container to receive the wisdom, guidance or medicine that they most need in that moment, I hold the energy of the entire space, so that each person can trust that they will feel held and supported on their journey.

To do this well, I have to create with devotion and intention, and be completely present in the moment.

When I co-create ceremony with Spirit, I often receive a “download” of a theme. Sometimes it feels more like an “upload” as it emerges from the ground of my being. I might at first just receive one word such as “Grace” or “Gratitude” and then it starts to flow. My opening words and guided meditations often just arrive, although I do write them down (you can’t take the writer or editor out of me).

The music playlist is the same. It all just comes together in perfect harmony. If at any point, I begin to think too much about it, that’s when it becomes a struggle. And that’s when walk away for a little while….

My presence on the day of ceremony starts with grinding the cacao while I listen to the sacred music. It is both devotional and intentional as I honor and bless the cacao.

On my way to ceremony, I select flowers for the altar that reflect the theme of the day and reflect on what can grace the altar in addition to my sacred “always” pieces.

When I arrive at the studio to set up, I am fully present with each action–unpacking, checking the sound, setting up the altar, making the cacao elixir and greeting the guests–and the act of being fully present with each begins to create sacred space and fills the space with light energy.

By the time ceremony begins, I am fully there, both in my body and out of it; an embodied presencing, connected to spirit through the ground of my being.

It’s rare that an outside thought intrudes and when it does, I notice, laugh to myself and send it away. The music keeps me quite present and in the moment I often dance (while seated) as I hold space for everyone’s journeys. Clearly, I am as nourished by the experience as they are….

Sacred space brings us such clarity, nourishment and healing when we create it for ourselves and others. It asks us to be intentional, devotional, and present. It’s in the noticing of what we receive from it that we can answer the call. Begin by simply noticing.

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching LLC

 

 

The Cacao Journals: from Gratitude comes Abundance

~ nicole
The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see. – Dr. Robert Holden

If grace is ever present in our lives, just waiting patiently to be noticed, then once we do see and acknowledge it, what arises naturally is a feeling of gratitude. Grace is the unexpected gift for which we wish to give thanks.

Now granted, sometimes the gift may not be exactly what you asked for, but in the case of Spirit, it’s exactly what you need in the moment; it just may take a while to see it….

In indigenous cultures, giving thanks to Spirit and showing gratitude is integral to their way of being, expressed in their daily rituals, ceremonies and prayer. The indigenous peoples understand that we achieve nothing without the aid of the Spirit and that we must be humble enough to ask for assistance and be grateful for what we receive.

We of so-called “modern” cultures have lost this connection, this daily giving of thanks. It can take but a moment, and the benefits are beyond measure.

Gratitude is the open door to abundance. – Harbhajan Singh Yogi

Each day before I meditate while chanting a mantra, I share an intention, a prayer if you will, for what I would like to receive. Some days my prayer is for clarity on an issue I’m facing; on others I ask for financial abundance, so I may keep being of service with my work; and sometimes I ask for grace on someone else’s behalf. I allow the intention to rise from deep within me, write it in my journal and then let go.

Not being attached to the outcome, and allowing Spirit to bring what’s most needed, requires deep trust. It can shake you to the core of your being this trust piece. With trust comes abundance; with fear, scarcity.

Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive. – Bryant H. McGill

Before I begin each meditation, I pause, reflect on how grace has shown up, and give thanks for what I have received. There’s a beautiful sense of reciprocity about the acts of asking, letting go, receiving and giving thanks. It is from, and into, this place of emptiness that abundance comes.

When we define abundance from a “modern” perspective, we most often think of financial or outer abundance; it’s rare that we think of inner abundance, the state of being connected to self and source in a reciprocal relationship.

To create a state of inner abundance in your life, find a way to give thanks each day. Start a gratitude journal and write something you are grateful for every day for 41 days (that’s the time needed to create a new habit that begins to “inhabit” us, changing our mindset and behavior).

Believe me, some days you will be challenged to find anything for which to be grateful. On those days, be grateful for the smallest thing: the clean water you drink, the nutritious food you eat, or the flowers that you see growing through some chains or through a crack in a rock.

When I did my own practice, I took an unbelievable amount of pictures of flowers growing through things, flowers growing freely, trees, the sun, the moon, water, the beach, and animals. I was grateful for them all and I began to see the world differently; it was more vibrant, more alive and more loving than I ever imagined. Eventually, you begin to notice more and more of the grace that surrounds you. And life feels and becomes more abundant.

To live in gratitude allows fear to fall away and abundance to appear. From gratitude comes abundance.

Copyright ©2018 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

The Cacao Journals: Integrating our Masculine & Feminine

~ nicole
When the Condor of the South flies with the Eagle of the North, a new day for Earth will awaken. – Inca Prophecy

Before each cacao ceremony, I always look into the significance of the day in the Mayan Calendar and allow the energy associated with it to inform ceremony. Some days are more auspicious than others; some are feisty and need to be balanced; and others provide deep reflection or spiritual connection. When we align ourselves with these energies and allow them to guide us, our days flow more easily.

So, in preparation for my upcoming Elemental Cacao Ceremony at FLOW Studio on November 4, I looked up the Day Sign, which is 2 Kawoq. The numeral 2 (of 13) represents the galactic tone energy of the day; and Kawoq (1 of 20 signs) is the Day Sign energy, spirit or essence of that day in this year. Together they are a system of astrology and divination that is celebrated in daily ritual and sacred ceremony.

Two is the symbol of duality: birth and death, joy and sadness, night and day, darkness and light, and male and female; while Kawoq is the divine feminine, which can bring a certain wild storminess, while supporting spiritual connection and communication. The combination of the two requires directing this wild feminine energy toward positive desires, and to do so means seeing “very, very far down the road you are traveling…so you may see a clearer, deeper, purer truth (Mayan Calendar Portal).”

Art by Brady Wedman and Maya Jensen

As part of my Elemental Cacao series, I had chosen the element, Air, to be honored in this ceremony. Air symbolizes clarity of vision, inspiration and the ability to see expansively like the eagle, which soars above the land seeing far and wide. The clarity of the eagle, balanced by our inner desires and intentions, brings us to a deeper truth than either would on its own.

Many indigenous prophecies foretold that human societies would split into two paths: one of the Eagle, which symbolizes the path of the mind, the material and the masculine; and the other, the Condor, which is the path of the heart, intuition and the feminine.

The prophecies also foretold that the potential exists within all of us for the Eagle and the Condor to come together and fly in the same sky when we create a new level of consciousness and live in balance with nature and within ourselves. It is up to us to activate this potential.

When the sacred masculine is combined with the sacred feminine inside each of us, we create the “sacred marriage” of compassion and passion in ourselves. –Matthew Fox

The path we are being asked to take now, in these times of crisis and chaos, is towards a higher expression of ourselves, to balance and integrate our masculine and feminine energies. We’ve gotten off center, out of alignment, either too much in one or too much in the other, which throws us and society out of balance.

It is the will of our hearts that allows these energies to come together again, to be in balance. This deep truth and heart wisdom will heal us and allow us to be whole again. Integrating the positive aspects of our masculine and feminine energies is an absolute requirement on our journey to wholeness.

Having spent 18 years in the corporate world, I had developed a strong, masculine side and had to relearn how to be vulnerable, trust my intuition, be comfortable with uncertainty, and open myself to the flow of life. What I found as I integrated my feminine side was a lightness of being, loving acceptance and a deeper trust of myself, and infinite joy.

Being aware that this integration of the masculine and feminine is necessary and critical to our wellbeing is the first step. Opening to the positive aspects that we have not embraced in ourselves (and that we often look to others to fill) is next. What’s missing in our lives is found within ourselves….

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC

The Cacao Journals: Rescue Remedy for the Soul

~ nicole
Final and complete healing will come from within, from the Soul itself, which radiates harmony throughout the personality when allowed to do so. – Dr. Bach, maker of Rescue Remedy

I have come to call cacao ceremony, Rescue Remedy for the Soul, because it naturally and gently heals us from the inside out. Every cacao ceremony brings you just what you need in that moment. There’s no amount of planning that will make your journey what you think it should be; it will just be…. One will bust you wide open; another will fill you with light; others will allow you access to deep wisdom. An infinite variety of experiences are available, and they are always illuminating.

The one thing you can do is set an intention for ceremony. Before each ceremony, I always check in to see where I need guidance or healing and set my intention based on that. Almost always, I receive what I ask for, and when I haven’t it’s only because Spirit has decided She has something even better for me or I’m so caught up in my head that nothing much can get in. Even then, despite my hard headedness (if I’m in my head, then I can’t fully be in my heart, can I?), She still finds a way to deliver a gentle message and lesson, which usually is about “letting go.”

In rereading my journals–wow, that was a trip unto itself–I realized just how much Spirit has not only healed me through cacao, but has transmitted knowledge that I am being called to share with you. And I have little say in this; the more I resist, the more She persists. In a shamanic journeying session (without cacao) that I participated in awhile back, my spirit animal guide, the Jaguar, told me, “Everything cacao.” I laughed about it when I shared it in circle. And believe me, I tried to ignore it, but it has become abundantly clear that I am a cacao guide who coaches, rather than a coach who does cacao ceremony every so often.

Spirit has brought me not just deep, meaningful messages in ceremony, but paths to follow that allow my soul to fully emerge. I must admit that I haven’t always followed her wise counsel as sometimes She has asked me to do something I didn’t feel would be fully embraced by others (at least not yet) or I didn’t feel equipped to make happen like a documentary film about cacao ceremony. And yet, here I am, just a bit farther down the road, bringing those messages to you…. (By the way, if anyone knows a documentary film maker who might want to do this, just let me know. I have a proposal all ready to go :)).

Cacao enabled me to answer the question of “Who (or What) am I?” I brought this particular intention into ceremony wanting to understand my gifts, the ones I am meant to bring to the world. I was tired of not knowing and admitted to myself that “I do not know,” not just this, but so much about the mystery of life. I felt very alone and humble as I entered that ceremony a few years ago.

Almost immediately, I felt myself glowing, my light filled the loft. I realized that I was very much not alone, that I was surrounded by love and my spirit guides and that they are always with me and they know. I felt such a rush of bliss, energy, love, truth, joy and purity that I cried with joy. At the close of ceremony, I captured these powerful words in my journal: “I am without fear; I am luminous; I am.” Right now, I am feeling very vulnerable sharing these words with you. And, at the same time, I’m feeling that you may need to hear them for your own healing.

We are all meant to come to self-realization on our own path, and yet we cannot do it wholly on our own; we need assistance and guidance. That assistance comes in the form of some kind of structure (a practice of some sort), which enables a depth of discovery (being willing to question and receive guidance), which leads to the integration of the lessons (deeply understanding and accepting the guidance), allowing for true embodiment. Cacao ceremony was my deep practice.

So, what is embodiment? It’s living in full integrity. It means that what you practice is what you do. When you leave that yoga class or meditation session or cacao ceremony, the lessons come with you; you don’t get to leave them on the mat or in your cacao cocoon. It means breaking old habituated behaviors that keep us out of alignment with our true selves and allowing new habits to form that heal and fully support us.

Too often, we try a little of this and a little of that, looking for the practice that will feel good to us, when the practice that deconstructs us, that challenges us, and makes us the most uncomfortable is the one that will transform and heal. Or we simply don’t realize that going deep is absolutely necessary to our healing. Or we believe “we’re good” and we don’t have anything that needs healing. We’ve become so disconnected from our feelings and who we are, that we think we know. But we really don’t; we have to learn to feel our way through, literally.

At the end of the day, which is the beginning of your life, you’ve got to do the work. It’s not always all love and light and cacao bliss, but if you allow yourself to open your heart, the light will find you, and fill you, and heal your dark parts until your own light shines radiantly through. I promise, you will glow.

And as this light fills you with its radiance, you will find you depend less and less on those old habits that are not fulfilling you and embrace the new habits that heal your soul and spirit. They are the rescue remedy.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC.

Fun seriously….

~ nicole
No one looks stupid when they’re having fun. – Amy Poehler
Fun is good. – Dr. Seuss

This post is all about fun, seriously!

The constant refrain I’m hearing from friends and clients, and even myself, these days is, “I need more fun in my life.” We’re all so busy striving and surviving and justifying that we can’t have fun anymore. I suspect we don’t even know what fun is anymore.

Fun has no other agenda than that; it’s just fun. It’s not getting a workout in while you’re having “fun;” it’s not learning a new language while you’re having “fun;” it’s not worrying about winning or how you look while you’re having “fun.” If we have to justify it, or it has another agenda, it’s not fun, plain and simple.

I think we’ve largely forgotten how to have fun because we’re so busy over-planning it, manufacturing it, and over-thinking it. We let our heads get in the way of actually having it. Or we’re told we can’t have fun; it’s not allowed. Here’s an example from last weekend.

It was unusually warm here in Marin, CA last weekend after months and months of rain, which has made all the creeks burble with delight and has blessed us with gifts of tiny waterfalls in the redwoods. Sounds blissful, doesn’t it? On a hike last Saturday to Cascade Falls, which has been dry for years, I heard joyful whooping and hollering, and wondered what all the fuss was about…. The path ahead skirted high above a bend in the creek where a series of natural whirlpools collect. When I looked down from above at the sounds emerging from the creek, I saw a young bare chested guy (he may have been naked for all I know) floating and being tossed around in one of the whirlpools. He was grinning from ear and ear, just loving the experience. It sure looked like fun. Cold, but fun.

As I continued on the return leg of my hike, I came across a couple with a young son about five years old walking along where the creek parallels the street in the wooded neighborhood leading to the trail. The boy declared, “I want to go play in the creek.” His parents, immediately, said “No, you can’t,” and, naturally, the boy asked, “Why?” That’s when I overheard the parents tell him three reasons why he couldn’t, which was really a code word for “shouldn’t.” 1) It’s illegal (which is simply not true), 2) It’s dirty (which is also not true as it flows through an affluent neighborhood), and 3) I’ve forgotten the third one, but you get the gist. It broke my heart to hear these “reasons,” and I’m pretty sure it broke the boy’s too.

This is what we do–we talk ourselves out of having fun; we find all the reasons in the world not to do something or let others tell us what we can or can’t do (even when it’s not true), or we externalize fun by expecting someone or something else to provide it for us (if only I had a boyfriend or more money or a better this or that, I would have more fun). We hold ourselves back so much from fun that it’s exhausting just thinking about having it!

So this weekend, I decided to think differently about fun. I declared that fun is not something that I need to think about or plan; it’s not something that someone else can give me. It’s me. I am fun. I come with fun built in. And, you know what, this way of reframing fun totally changed how I felt. I felt freer, I laughed more, I didn’t worry about what might or might not happen. And, you know what, I actually had more fun.

Hmm, I feel like splashing around in a creek barefoot right about now…. How about you?

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC

 

Intention plus gratitude: some kind of powerful

~ nicole
The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become. – Robert Holden

As you know, I have this tendency to follow the slender threads of synchronicity that show up in my life because they always lead to something good (even if sometimes I don’t see it at first). The other week, I was on a webinar and the presenter happened to mention a private Facebook group, the Gratitude Circle, which has over 22,000 members. Intrigued, especially after noticing the transformative effects of setting gentle intentions every morning, I joined the circle and began sharing what I was grateful for each day. It was a beautiful complement to my intention setting.

As I drank my morning tea, I would pause and feel into my intention, allowing it to gently emerge and capture it on my laptop. Then I would turn my attention inward again to ask what I was grateful for that day, make my way to the Gratitude Circle and share my thoughts with a group of positive, supportive and loving people. I truly felt blessed each day; it took just a few minutes out of my day; and the benefits were tremendous. I was clear, confident, and more resilient when I set my intentions for the day. I was more open, heart-centered and compassionate when I declared my gratitude. I don’t know if you noticed, but the two balance each other beautifully, and together make for heart-centered inspiration!

Often, what I expressed gratitude for is what showed up for me after releasing my gentle intention for the day. Now that is some kind of powerful!

And what’s really fascinating is that I found myself slightly addicted (in a good way) to setting my intentions and expressing my gratitude. On the mornings when I tried to come up with an excuse (usually a lame one) not to do them, I felt strangely guilty, so I’d find a way to make time and space for them. The key to making them happen was including them in my morning routine, being disciplined, and not allowing myself any excuse (except maybe if the house was on fire).

“Cultivating gratitude has been scientifically linked to better health, less anxiety and depression,  a higher satisfaction with life, and a greater sense of joy. – Julie Santiago, The Gratitude Circle

If you are one of the brave souls who is setting gentle intentions for yourself each day, add this to your day and commit to it for one week (notice I did not say “try” this as there is no try, there’s just doing or not doing). The Gratitude Circle asks members to express gratitude every day for 60 days because we all know it takes a good while for a new habit to form, so if it feels good after the first week keep on going. I know I am….

Please share how it goes for you and if you feel different. I’d love to hear from you.

PS: Today I am grateful for everyone who reads my blog posts and is touched by them in some way. Thank you! Sending you love and light.

Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC.