“The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.” —Anais Nin
In my work, I witness people, who, in shedding identities, negative self-talk, beliefs and expectations, come to the place where they reconnect to the essence of who they truly are. And from this place, they find they need to speak their personal truth. I honor and commend them. Having the courage to speak your truth is a very very good thing.
And I see and hear these same people “not giving a sh*t about what other people think or feel.” To let go of the need for approval or being liked for what you say or look like or feel is another level of bravery.
And…. We all want to seen and heard. The double edge of personal truth is that when we share our personal truth and don’t give a sh*t how it lands, there’s a good chance people won’t actually see or hear us. Why is that?
When you find your truth, you are like a toddler learning to walk for the first time. You’re going to wobble and stumble and fall on your bum a lot. What comes out of your mouth as your ‘truth’ may come out all awkward or unintelligible, and is not really what you want to say. Being aware and ok with that helps you keep on sharing. And reflecting on your truth helps too….
Your personal truth is coming from a place inside of you that hasn’t spoken in a long long while. It may even be coming from an outraged place inside you. One that’s angry and jaded and judgy because not only hasn’t it spoken for a while, it wasn’t listened to when it actually did.
That angry place inside doesn’t care that other people, including those who disagree with its truth or historically haven’t seen it, have their own truth (often hidden by woundedness). Feel into that for a moment. We all have our own personal truth. Every single one of us.
When we speak our truth, we want to be seen. If we want to be seen; we have to see others. If we don’t want to be judged for ours; we cannot judge others. If we want to feel the compassion of others; we must feel compassion. Personal truth is a mirror. See and be seen.
Personal truth is a mirror. See and be seen.
Once we let go of judgment, our compassion grows. Both for ourselves and others. We find there truly is no separation. Differences in preference, in belief, in opinion, yes, but under it all, we each have a human soul that wants to be seen.
Take time and space to reflect on your personal truth. In there you will find values, what you care about, what brings you joy, personal boundaries, and even some wisdom. Share it with vulnerability, openness and your heart, and see how it is received. Share it with anger, defensiveness and from your angry hurt self, and see how that lands. You may just find the difference in response is stunning.
Keep sharing your truth and build your awareness. Say it so you are seen.
Personal truth is not yet wisdom, but it is on the path. Wisdom comes from deep reflection and embodied experience. Wisdom does not need to be seen. It is beyond that, being of service to something greater than itself. It is heard, perceived and received as Truth.
Stay on the path of truth and you may find Truth too. In there, lies even greater peace.
Copyright ©2020 Soulscape Coaching LLC.
Sanctuary is vital to me. Where I live, how I live and who I share my life with must be in alignment with that. I love the energy of the natural world, as you know, so my recent move marks a return to living in nature, surrounded by trees, a pond, wildlife and the sound of the ocean in the distance (and a cacophony of tree frogs when I go to sleep :)). I feel a sense of peace and tranquility here that I simply don’t in the city with its energetic human hum and traffic noise.
So, what awaits after surrender…? The unknown. Scary stuff for those of us who always want to know; for those who need to be fully in control; for those who struggle to have faith in themselves or in life itself. At some point in my life, all those control scenarios were me….
The unknown shows us who we truly are. It teaches us to be adaptive, creative, resilient; to be accepting and forgiving of ourselves and others; to be at peace and to love unconditionally; and it allows us to experience the pure joy of being in a constant state of wonder. We can ask from this place of unknowing: I wonder what’s going to happen next? I wonder who’s going to come into my life? I wonder what my clarity and light will attract?
For the longest time I had no idea what surrender really meant. It was only when I had to let go of so much in my life over more than a decade–a career or two, a long-time relationship, a home several times over, my native land (my Canadian readers will get this), all my furniture, my ego, my shame, many of my fears and more–and thought I was relatively “unattached” that a chasm swallowed me whole, and I had no choice but to surrender completely.
What I did not realize at the time, but do now, is that I was experiencing another dark night of the soul. The first one I experienced was merely a prelude, and one that I willingly chose as I dove into the waiting embrace of Mama Cacao. The second one came out of nowhere, unbidden; and the more I resisted, the more it persisted.
So, I prayed, and I prayed hard. And She sent me an answer, one that I did not understand at first, but followed, and which has since led me to a devotional path. I surrendered to it. (Note: this is so new to me that I’m not quite ready to share more, but will when I am.)
So, you are the first to know, after my husband, that I am no longer a soul’s path coach (please know that I will still call on my coaching skills as needed). I’m hesitant to call myself anything at this point, and I’m pretty sure that calling myself a messenger of Spirit would draw some attention on a business card :), so for now I’m a cacao medicine guide and shamanic practitioner for journeys to wholeness. And that may change too, but for now, it feels true as it comes from a place of total surrender.
As I write this from my 91-year-old mother’s palliative care room in Canada, where she is resting before she passes from this world, I am at her bedside, giving her the only medicine I can give: the light of loving kindness. I hold her in my heart radiating healing light, so she may be free of suffering and pain.
If you read my first cacao journal entry, you’ll remember one of my spirit animal guides, the white swan, which symbolizes inner grace, purity and tranquility. She inspired me to begin my cacao journey and visited me in ceremony to share her sacred power. In the Lakota tradition, the swan acts as a messenger of faith. In ancient Greece, the swan was thought to sing a sweet and beautiful song as people died. The swan is a powerful and sacred totem among many cultures and demonstrates the intricate balance of living in three elemental realms–on the earth, which grounds her; on the water, which allows her access to her intuitive and emotional depths; and in the air, where she sees life with an expansive and all-encompassing view. All she embodies is what I aspire to be.
The Jaguar and the Serpent, long associated with cacao and sacred Mayan ritual, have shared their guidance with me and brought me medicine in many of my journeys with cacao. I immediately felt drawn to the Jaguar, and, me being curious and just a little bit cheeky, asked if I could run with her during one journey; she graciously allowed me to shape shift into her form and run as her. As you can imagine, it was incredible to feel her (and my) raw power, supple elegance, and fierce sense of knowing. I gave myself over to it fully. It was like being one of the Na’vi in Avatar, the movie, only this was a big cat and I was her…. I now know what feline feminine power feels like and it brings me great strength. I know all of this sounds terribly farfetched, and I can’t explain the how or the why; what I have is faith in is that she brought me what I needed in that moment.
The Serpent has been more elusive, as you would suspect, only revealing itself a few times and transmitting its life force knowledge by “feeding” knowledge to me, telling me to “Let go of this world, the ways of this world, and be the way.” Its messages are direct and unequivocal, including “Heal myself and then others.” And when a Serpent tells you what to go do, you do it….
I’m with Danielle. I too am learning to live in the liminal space between effort and surrender, and some days I’m better at it than others…. I see this same struggle in many of my friends and clients, who have excelled in life by being fully in control, until something told them in no uncertain terms that they actually weren’t.
