No matter how long the room has been dark…the moment the lamp of awareness is lit the entire room becomes luminous. You are that luminosity. You are that clear light.
– Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
I always set an intention for personal cacao ceremony as it informs Spirit of what I would like to receive. Mind you, I don’t always get what I ask for, but I always receive something and it’s always the medicine I need in that moment. And there are times it is so profoundly transforming, I just marvel at the message.
In one of my early journeys with cacao, my intention was to discover who I truly was. I was both curious and in need of knowing. Granted, it was a big intention, one we often ignore in our fast-paced lives or one we struggle to answer. I decided to give it up to Spirit. So as I embarked on my journey with cacao, I asked, “Who am I really?”
What I noticed first was a tingling in my hands, actually more of a “sparkling.” Then my whole body began to glow, and the glow grew and grew, until it filled the entire space with luminous light. It was so exquisitely beautiful and infinite.
The message I received was, “Be your luminous self,” and I wrote these words in my journal, “I am without fear. I am luminous. I am.” I had just experienced my own inner light; and it became a touchstone for me; an indelible, radiant image; a resource state that I could return to again and again even in my darkest moments.
What it allowed me to do–knowing that, at my core, I am the light–was begin to peel back the remaining protective layers that kept me “safe” because I realized that nothing could actually harm or extinguish my inner light. I felt as though I was removing the last chains holding me captive, the last layers hiding my light; it was, as you can imagine, incredibly liberating.
I began to see reflections of this light in people I met, some of whom met light with light (that was incredible), and others, who had turned away from the light and were held captive in their own darkness. I found myself no longer willing to hide or diminish my light. My thinking was if my light is untouchable and infinite, then I can shine it.
In the healing arts, we’re often told to create a luminous egg of light energy around us, so we don’t take on other people’s energy. It’s a form of protection. What I discovered is that I no longer had to pull this energy in to build an “egg;” when I radiated my light, it came from an infinite source.
What’s so beautiful is that this light is in us all. According to Mayan cosmology, we are the light, descended from the stars to which we will return. I happen to be from Orion, according to a Mayan shaman, if anyone is wondering :).
Unfortunately, on this earthly plane, our light is held captive by the protective strategies we took on when we first got hurt deeply. Instinctively, at that first inner wounding, we protected our heart from more hurt; and, out of fear, we hid our light, the essence of who we truly are. Without realizing it, our lives became controlled by fear.
When we begin to realize these strategies are fear-based and are the very thing holding us back from what we truly want and who we truly are, we want to let go, but we’re still afraid because we don’t quite know how.
Seeing a glimmer of your own light is crucial as it’s what will inspire and motivate you to not be afraid, to heal the hurt, and become whole again.
So, how do you see your own light? It starts with being curious, willing to see that you have become your own captor, and opening to receive the message. And it may require some cacao :). Or another catalyst that allows for gentle inquiry, witnessing and inner work.
That’s how I began my own journey, and how I guide my clients to begin theirs.
You are Luminous.
Are you open to seeing and reclaiming your light?
I’d be delighted to have a conversation with you about reclaiming your light. My gift to you for the holidays. Because we all need more light in the world….
Copyright ©2017 Soulscape Coaching LLC
As I write this from my 91-year-old mother’s palliative care room in Canada, where she is resting before she passes from this world, I am at her bedside, giving her the only medicine I can give: the light of loving kindness. I hold her in my heart radiating healing light, so she may be free of suffering and pain.
If you read my first cacao journal entry, you’ll remember one of my spirit animal guides, the white swan, which symbolizes inner grace, purity and tranquility. She inspired me to begin my cacao journey and visited me in ceremony to share her sacred power. In the Lakota tradition, the swan acts as a messenger of faith. In ancient Greece, the swan was thought to sing a sweet and beautiful song as people died. The swan is a powerful and sacred totem among many cultures and demonstrates the intricate balance of living in three elemental realms–on the earth, which grounds her; on the water, which allows her access to her intuitive and emotional depths; and in the air, where she sees life with an expansive and all-encompassing view. All she embodies is what I aspire to be.
The Jaguar and the Serpent, long associated with cacao and sacred Mayan ritual, have shared their guidance with me and brought me medicine in many of my journeys with cacao. I immediately felt drawn to the Jaguar, and, me being curious and just a little bit cheeky, asked if I could run with her during one journey; she graciously allowed me to shape shift into her form and run as her. As you can imagine, it was incredible to feel her (and my) raw power, supple elegance, and fierce sense of knowing. I gave myself over to it fully. It was like being one of the Na’vi in Avatar, the movie, only this was a big cat and I was her…. I now know what feline feminine power feels like and it brings me great strength. I know all of this sounds terribly farfetched, and I can’t explain the how or the why; what I have is faith in is that she brought me what I needed in that moment.
The Serpent has been more elusive, as you would suspect, only revealing itself a few times and transmitting its life force knowledge by “feeding” knowledge to me, telling me to “Let go of this world, the ways of this world, and be the way.” Its messages are direct and unequivocal, including “Heal myself and then others.” And when a Serpent tells you what to go do, you do it….
I have come to call cacao ceremony, Rescue Remedy for the Soul, because it naturally and gently heals us from the inside out. Every cacao ceremony brings you just what you need in that moment. There’s no amount of planning that will make your journey what you think it should be; it will just be…. One will bust you wide open; another will fill you with light; others will allow you access to deep wisdom. An infinite variety of experiences are available, and they are always illuminating.
Almost immediately, I felt myself glowing, my light filled the loft. I realized that I was very much not alone, that I was surrounded by love and my spirit guides and that they are always with me and they know. I felt such a rush of bliss, energy, love, truth, joy and purity that I cried with joy. At the close of ceremony, I captured these powerful words in my journal: “I am without fear; I am luminous; I am.” Right now, I am feeling very vulnerable sharing these words with you. And, at the same time, I’m feeling that you may need to hear them for your own healing.
We closed ourselves off to the world as we knew it and entered a cocoon, a sanctuary, to emerge from our chrysalis more vibrant and alive, and with bright wings that allowed us to rise above ourselves and the world and see with new eyes.
There’s something about the deep unknown that scares us (or at least some of us). We’ve been told and taught that the unknown is dark and shadowy; it’s murky and mercurial; it’s a place we should not go. Hence, scary.
When we choose to look closely at ourselves, most often when we are in a place of despair, we begin to see into our darkness with an honesty and a clarity that shines its light upon it.